Should I not have texted him?

so guy and I were dating a couple of months. he ended up needing time away from dating because he going through awful custody battle. but he had told me I was a girl he would like to keep seeing after he got all the custody stuff settled Because he was just in bad place right now. and he would call when it was all over and if I didn't answer he said he wold unuderstand. anyways, it's been a month and I figured it would take that long and even longer to hear from him and in meantime I know not to wait around for someone who may not really want to be with me, but a couple days ago I thought of him and just sent a quick text saying "hey just wanted to say hi and hope you're doing well" purposely left it worded so it wasn't like he had to respond to me or feel obligation to say hi, just wanted to send him that. friends of mine said that was so stupid of me. that he was done with me and prob just being nice and now I look like fool or others said he is in bad spot and now I look like I'm being needy. I don't know why they over think it so much I just said hi w/o really thinking about it. but does that make me look bad? maybe he is done with me I dunno. I'm not sitting around waiting for his call that's for sure. but I do still kinda like him and think about him. maybe that's silly. I just thought about him at that moment and know he's going through tough time and wanted to say a quick hello...w/o expectations of him getting back to me or wanting to see me yet/ever again. did I mess up?


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  • Ofcourse you did not mess up and I don't believe he is done with you. For real, the guy's life is totally messed up and he is dealing with his problems right now. He even told you how much he likes you and how much you mean to him. If he wanted to dump you politely, he wouldn't make up a custody story. It is way too much effort. When a guy decides to walk away, nobody can stop him. It is quite easy to do that.

    I would have done the same thing like you did. I would send a nice message for him to know I'm thinking about him and miss him. It is a huge boost of support to him and that is what girls are supposed to do; to support their lovers/boyfriends/husbands...they need that. Moreover, I wouldn't expect a reply from him. It is a sweet gesture.

    Also, even if he is done with you (like your friends assume) wouldn't it be smart to give him a chance to pove you wrong? I mean if I feel that my boyfriend is going to breakup with me, I wouldn't just walk away. I will send a signal that means "I care" and see how it goes from there. If he truly cares, he will respond and be nice and that means my doubts weren't exact. If he wasn't nice, then it is true that he is leaving. So, it is a good way to know if he still wants you or not. In your case, I don't think he will reply (he might do) because of the issues he is dealing with but still it is a very nice gesture from your side.

    Don't regret the kind gestures you do to others. :)

    • thanks so much for your feedback! yes, that's what I thought that it just showed I cared and I trust what he said...i mean who knows what'll happen but even if he doesn't 'want to be with me anymore I wanted to let him know I hoped he was OK because I know he going through tough time. I will keep you posted if something comes of it :)

    • Exactly. :) It was a very nice gesture and he will love it. Guys really appreciate the moral support that comes from a lover especially when they need it.

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