My Friend And I like the same Woman.

This girl I've been talking to for the past month was seriously one of the only girls in the past years who have really struck me as amazing. Yesterday was out date, I took her home after the movies. I can assume you can guess what happend next. Knowing her she told me about her exbf who had been controlling and aggressive towards her. She had been in a relationship with him for almost 2 years, they had broken up 2 months ago. Going to school in the early morning, I was smoking in the parking lot, she had called me and said she was waitng so she could give me a kiss.

After walking to the spot She had texted me, "My ex bfs standing right in front of us". I looking around , suprised but told her not to worry, and who cares. I look over and its my friend!

Shortly after I talked to him saying I didn't know and if he wanted me to back off . He replied shortly, saying "yes" I had to go talk to her saying " its really up to you and him whether you want to stay with me or go back to him". He then walked over to talk to her. She quickly started crying and then hugged him , saying she misses him. I feel betrayed. Thing is he's going to jail in a few days anyway.

Should I talk to him again to give me a go? Or what should I do , Period? She didn't text me nor lmk anything.

Im stuck and confused. I belive that I have been played and betrayed. Honestly a he's a person who verbally abuses her, me on the other hand cannot allow myself to do that.

You could hear him from bout 20 feet away. How should I go about this? I'm confused and need some help. Thank you for who ever put up with my crap. Just happend today.


Most Helpful Guy

  • The guy isn't acting friend with you, by answering "yes". I mean, they broke up, right?

    And the girl isn't any better, knowing you were friends, to allow this happening.

    Double dump.

    • Thank you, I appreciate your answer. I believe that sometimes its better to just date and move on to new people perhaps its too early to evaluate that but maybe I should wait? LOL yeah never works waiting but yes appreciate your answer.

    • Well look at it this way : she did the dating process with you, seemed to be eager to kiss you, but at the very moment she saw him, she went to him and told him that she was missing him. You don't even know if it wasn't to make him jealous. How trustable is she ? I'd say move on, because those who play such games are not worth your time. And now you know how your friend behaves, do you still want him as a friend ? There are good people everywhere, friends or more. Good luck, and don't worry :)

    • =] Thank you.

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What Girls Said 3

  • He's probably manipulated her enough to a point where she feels trapped especially after such a long relationship. Talk to her and don't let this friend get in the way, especially if he's a bad egg. She needs to understand that you're safe for her and that he really is a bad guy even if she verbally said so. Let her know you'll protect her and just be there for her instead of what this guy has done. This guy sounds like a control freak. He doesn't want anyone to have what he's had because he still wants control, despite having treated her like crap and doesn't sound like a friend you should stand by.

    • Thank you very much. I agree with your opinion. She is trapped. I've just never let it cross my mind until this moment. Yes he's a bad egg but he does not treat her correctly. I myself have caused plenty of problems but prove to be a great guy when it comes to my signifigant other. She is confined within a box, and is told not to talk to her friends. He definitely a control freak. Thank you for your understanding. Maybe I might try that . We will see.

  • Well. I think, if your friend was in a bad relationship with your crush, I don't think you should let that affect your friendship with him. Don't cut a friendship only because of that reason.

    It's really up to the girl. Don't force her to choose you, because that might end up badly if she still likes your friend. Your friend could improve from his last mistake, you know.

    • Yeah I can honestly want to think that but, some people never change. Yes is possible but its hard. Some people change, and some don't I believe there's a chance but slim at most. Thank you very much for your opinion.

  • You're a really nice guy. I'm at a true loss for words of consolation. The situation just s*cks and you proved to be a very gallant person.

    You have to step away from both the guy and the gal. It's one of the harder things you'll be expected to do in life, but you have to do it. It's not up to you to save the world. She needs to step away from him if she doesn't want to be subject to that sort of relationship.

    • Thank you for your answer. I appreciate your effort into looking into my problem. I believe so also maybe she just needs to notice for herself and break past those barriers. Yes but its one of those choices I make in life to be happy to go on guilt free and happy. Right now I'm just having a hard to coping but gets better with time =]

    • I'll pray for you this weekend. You really did the right thing. I know what you mean about the guilt-free. It's difficult.

What Guys Said 0

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