What's the best thing to do when a girl tells you this?

When a girl mentions or tells at some point how in her only other short relationship, she got too close to someone, they left her, then she was hurt by it, and that now she has a sense of always thinking the worst will happen and/or having put up a wall, what's the best way to response/approach to seeking a relationship with her?

There isn't really a "right" answer, but I'm just wondering for the ladies to put yourself in this mindset, what would you like to happen or expect from the guy?

And guys, ever been in a situation similar to this? How did you react and what happened?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Tell her you're sorry that happened and you wish it hadn't. Tell her she deserves better than that and that she's amazing. Tell her the guy's an idiot for being so foolish as to lose her. Tell her that if you were ever lucky enough to date her, you'd never do anything to hurt her. Tell her that you know none of this really helps or changes anything but that you're there when she needs to talk. Tell her everything will be okay and that not all guys are that bad. Remind her that she's beautiful and that there is someone out there for her. And if you're feeling very flirty, add that he may be closer than she thinks. I was hurt too and when I told my boyfriend this is some of the stuff he told me. Though it didn't fix everything, it helped a lot. If she knows how you feel, or if you want her to know, tell her you love her.


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What Girls Said 2

  • Telling you that just means she's asking for patience and commitment from you, and effort. It's like asking you to stick around without directly asking. I'd say that and hope that the guy I am interested in will work hard to break my wall, because that shows he cares enough and is a good guy for me.

  • Well coming from a girl and having sort of said that to a guy, I think the best thing I heard from someone was something like:

    "I'm sorry they did that to you, and I can't imagine why anyone would want to hurt you. You're wonderful. (Feel free to substitue any other words in anywhere). I know you find it hard to trust people, and regardless if you do have that wall up, but I'm going to try my hardest to make you happy. I'm always here because I care about you." Just reassure her and tell her you'll just be there.

    So yeah something like that xD


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