Is it a date, or just a hang-out?

On Friday night, I went to a fundraiser for one of my university's newspapers. My friend Natalie is on the organizing committee, and wanted me to buy a ticket, so I went. Anyway, earlier that week, Natalie had met a guy on the bus... They'd swapped numbers, and she'd invited him to come to this event too -- as her date. But somehow, Alan (Natalie's date) and I ended up talking for most of the night (it wasn't at all flirtatious; we were just having a really good conversation)... That is, until I went to the washroom and he was nowhere to be found.

The next day, I added him to Facebook, 'cause I'd had a really great time talking to him but hadn't thought to ask for his number. I posted on his wall and said "Hey! It was so nice meeting you the other night... I was sad that I didn't get to say goodbye! Hope you're having a great weekend!" to which he replied, in a private message: "Ya it was nice to meet you too. Thanks for being so nice and hanging out with the new guy. Sorry I had to leave so abruptly. I got my phone back and realized how late it was. I really wished I could have spent some more time with you and at least said good bye..."

I sent him my number and suggested that we hang out. He texted me the next day, and our conversation went as follows:

Him: I had a great time talking to you last week. We really should hang out sometime. Did you have anything in mind? I'm often working downtown, so I can always meet you after work or something.

Me: Awesome! I'm up for anything... Skating, coffee, bank-robbing... Whatever :P What's your schedule like?

Him: Well I'm downtown for work Tuesday to Thursday and I have Monday and Friday off, usually. Would you like to meet up on Friday?

Me: Friday would be great! I have class from 2:30-4, but I'm free before or after that...

Him: How does after class sound?

Me: Perfect! So maybe at around 5? I'm not sure what you had in mind...

Him: How about we say, tentatively, that we go get a drink... And between now and then we can think of what to do after that?

Me: Great! I can't wait... So I'll meet you somewhere downtown at 5-ish? We can figure out the details on Thursday or Friday, I guess! See you soon...

Him: That sounds great :) See you soon.

...and that's the last I've heard from him...

I find him really interesting and attractive, but I'm not sure if he's into me THAT way, or if this is just a "lets be friends" thing. I don't want to go into it with the wrong mindset, you know?!

Any input is welcome! Thanks guys :)


Most Helpful Girl

  • For the most part I look at dates as "hangouts" in the beginning. No need to try to make it more serious than it is, he's a guy you don't know very well that you want to hang out with.

    On another note, how does your friend Natalie feel about you swooping in on her date? lol

    • Haha, well I wasn't hitting on him... I was just trying to be friendly, 'cause he didn't know anyone else there... I don't think she knows that we're hanging out, but at the end of the night, she asked me if I liked him, and I said "would that make me a horrible friend?" and she said that she still had feelings for another guy that she was seeing, so to go for it.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • You're very smooth, I like it. He likes your for sure. I like how your very flexible, and limber. that's very good.

    he sounds awesome, He likes you, you spit game very good, I think you're all set for the date. you horn dog you :)!


What Girls Said 1

  • Try asking him if it is a date because your making life complicated then it already, is. I'm not trying to be mean but why can't you just take the hint that he, likes you ?

    • Well he was there as someone else's date, and we've just talked about "hanging out." Plus, he wasn't at all flirtatious at the fundraiser... So I'm really not sure that he likes me as more than just a friend.

    • Then have fun and don't worry about dating. Unless you are looking for a boyfriend. Don't kiss him or do anything sexual. Let him know that if this just is friends having fun that you are not going to be there for his physical pleasure. And you should let him know that you respect her and in no way want drama because girls will go insane