Advice on dating your ex again?

My ex and I broke up a month ago (after two months of dating), and it wasn't a bad breakup, just some inconvenient timing (we didn't know if the relationship would be possible to carry on; turns out it is). However, since we've had a month break, both of us are just trying to take it easy and slow. Prior to the break,we were sexually active, but I think we're trying to hold back on that for now.

Anyway, we've hung out three times (lunch and dinners), and tonight is the first actual time we're calling it a date, but since the relationship wasn't long enough to be real serious, we're just playing things by ear and treating it like we did early on the first time around.

I've personally never dated someone again after ending a relationship, even one where the breakup wasn't bad, but for those who have, do you have any advice on how to approach the date? Is the slow, play-it-by-ear method I mention probably the best way?

To clarify, this was a mutual breakup due to lack of time only. Very busy schedules. And originally, we didn't think we'd have the time to devote to the relationship. Things changed, and we realized we cared about each other enough to work on things. We're only trying to pace things out.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I think the play-it-by-ear thing sounds good. You seem to have a good mindset about this and I wish you luck. I always think of it as a very good thing when the chance comes up to date an ex again, if the situation is right. The whole idea of it reminds me very much of the movie "For Lovers Only". Sometimes the timing isn't always right, but the couple is. Since you've dated before and like each other, it should happen naturally, that you feel open with each other to flirt and act like you did before.

    • This is the type of feedback I was looking for as well, because it looks like you actually read what I typed instead of assuming that "an ex is an ex for a reason." The breakup happened mutually because of lack of time. We decided we liked each other too much to let that interfere, but wanted to make sure we paced ourselves. Again, thank you for the great advice!

    • You're welcome :) Thanks for the BA, good luck!

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What Girls Said 2

  • Idk what advice to give you...but I'll just say that if you still have feelings for her try to rekindle things for sure, because I'd really want to be with my ex again...but only time can tell.goodluck.

  • Personally I wouldn't go out with her again. I keep on telling my friends this but if they left you once they can do it again. Sorry, good luck!

    • See below. It was a MUTUAL breakup based on the fact that we both thought we'd be too busy to pursue things. We loved being together, but thought it was ill timing. We decided that we enjoyed being together too much to let our lives interfere. It's not the same thing as dating an ex who cheated or who you had a fallout with.

What Guys Said 1

  • DON'T. She's your ex for a REASON.

    • It was a mutual breakup because we both thought we'd be too busy for a relationship together, but we loved spending time together and realized that we had the time to work for a relationship. How does this relate to this situation?

    • If you really give a damn about each other then breaking up is a stupid thing to do.

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