Why do a lot of guys like to beat it around the bush? Or is it just me?

I have used a dating site in the past and whenever I would meet a guy and we start texting, a lot of them never seem to want to make plans...sometimes never even text back. Or they're just content with just talking and it seems like they are not serious.

The same thing happens with people I meet in person too.

Some guy I met on campus asked for my number a while back and he texted me for a bit and then just stopped..never heard from him again.

And then I met a guy when I first moved here and he was cool, and we got a long. I told him I liked him and he never really responded but whenever I'd see him, he'd act like all friendly or something and always go in for a hug and want to talk. But never wanted to go out with me or anything.

I've talked with my friend about it, and her advice was "Sometimes guys are just slow. You just have to be patient."

Boy, are they ever!

It's frustrating Because I'm like, what's the deal here bro?

So are we like, phone pals or what? And then they'll ask for pictures or what have you and we'll have sexy chats but nothing ever really happens.

What's the deal? srsly. It just seems like this has been happening a lot lately. It doesn't happen with every guy, just the ones that I actually like. lol. Am I giving off some sort of bad vibe? I don't think I'm being too vivacious at all. I don't text people 24/7...I'm not crazy clingy. Do I come off as really intimidating and not know it? I'm just tired of this because is it too much to ask that a guy I'm actually genuinely interested in feels the same way about me?

I just want to know what's going on.


Most Helpful Girl

  • 1. Why do a lot of guys like to beat it around the bush? Most guys lack confident and self esteem to approach a girl much less ask her out.

    Most tend to be nice and hope to win her over through that without ever verbalizing their attraction/feelings and have him being friendly with no mention of romantic/sexual interest be translated as he likes you rather than friendly or wants to be a friend.

    2. Or is it just me? Might be and might not. Seems like a triad of you, situation, and guys. At some level with a repeating pattern you're an element.

    Generally on dating sites are rarely seriously it's mainly a strolling, chatting or hookup place.

    The guy on campus could have just lost interest.

    For guys that ask for pics & sexy chats they most likely wanted to just f*ck and if they didn't close that their attention drifted.

    3. What's the deal? Am I giving off some sort of bad vibe?

    "The same thing happens with people I meet in person too."

    Maybe you're uninteresting and not fun to be around. Self development and gaining new experiences, activities, hobbies, interests, knowledge, skills, and talents can help.

    4. Do I come off as really intimidating and not know it? Most likely they just lose interest.

    5. I'm just tired of this because is it too much to ask that a guy I'm acutally genuinely interested in feels the same way about me? Yes if in my country, America. In most relationships the girls interest level is higher and generally guys are rarely genuinely interested in a woman as a human being much less an individual.

    So so for the world as it seems most people aren't generally interested in others but what others can give them.

    • Females are intimidating...and you are no exception Dear Pixie...(:

    • Show All
    • @taster

      Only a woman? :)

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • Many people struggle with escalation. They're confident enough to initiate contact with someone they like, but then they wind up spending every interaction with that person sort of making small talk, hoping in vain that something will just magically happen.

    So no, it's not you. Don't worry, they probably beat themselves up pretty hard over it.

    If I were you, and you really liked the guy but he was being a bit too chicken, I would be more forward. It's sort of a gamble, since struggling with escalation is sort of a test of a man's overall confidence, but it never hurts to try.

    Tell them, "Okay Joe, now is the part where you ask me what I'm doing Saturday night."

    • Not a bad answer either...but...are you simply saying males are afraid to become close?

    • More that they're hesitant to take initiative.

    • yes I agree with you... intially...but "afraid to become close" is also and issue...further along...

  • You won't like my answser..on the front side we need approval & acceptance and cringe at the idea of rejection...but even if we get reassurance and acceptance then we move slowly because there are always landmines and things about us that females find unacceptable...we work too hard or we party too much...or we want to get too serious or we are unwilling to settle down and be serious enough...and then...there is this little matter of sexual compatibility...most of us males have fantasies/fixations/fetishes...even if we do not admit then (I may be open on here but I do not talk about mine in brick & mortar life)...and it causes problems when females don't accept ours...O:O

    • is that really the only reason?

    • Show All
    • There are actually LOTS of females that feel the way you do...you are a little more intimidating than the average female...I really like you but if I was your age...eh...I would need lots of smiles and approval...of course...that is only me...but I like your Question and will rate you 5 stars...(:

    • Thanks :)

  • because one girls have the power 2 we never know if you like us because you send mixedmesseges and 3 we always aim out of our leag.

    • Why the Down Arrow? Actually..I think this is a pretty good answer...

      +1 from me...(:

What Girls Said 0

The only opinion from girls was selected the Most Helpful Opinion, but you can still contribute by sharing an opinion!