How do you get a girlfriend?

When I see a girl I like, I approach her, smile, talk to her, make her laugh - and then I ask them out for coffee or something and they never want to. Some might say Yes, but then when I follow up - they never want to.

What do I have to do to get a girlfriend? And what do people mean "when the time is right" ? Why does the time have to be RIGHT for me? Why can't it just happen?

And I have not had a girlfriend, but everyone around me has been in many relationships. If I absolutely CANNOT get a girl, how am I not supposed to feel like a useless, unwanted male?


Most Helpful Girl

  • "When the time is right" usually refers to taking things as slowly as you can while still progressing in the relationship. When you meet these girls, try to take steps with her. Don't ask her out when you first meet her, but keep getting to know her for a while in a flirty manner (teasing, complimenting her, asking questions about her, etc.). Eventually when you do ask her out, just be confident and have a plan in the back of your mind for something more exciting than just coffee. Ask her if she'd go out with you but tell her the date is a surprise (although try not to say this in a creepy manner). Then plan something more unique than just a dinner and a movie date. The key to a long relationship is when both people put as much effort as they can to make the other happy and to feel special. Just make sure you continue to be happy.

    I have no doubt in my mind that you won't start dating eventually. Sometimes it just takes time. And the right girl...girls can be pretty nasty and superficial.

    • But why does everything need to be "right." How come other people have it easier?

      It's taken my whole life so far, why doesn't it take most other people this long? What is wrong with me that I couldn't have love?

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    • Do you really want to stoop to their level then?

    • I DO NOT judge people based on their looks. But girls always JUDGE ME based on MY looks.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 2

  • Have a full life. Stop trying to have a girlfriend.

    Take a class because you like the subject matter. You might find a girl there when you were not looking.

    • Stop trying. Like it's that easy.

  • Why don't you try meeting girls through friends? Try to be their friends first and ask them to open up to you. Let them know you're interested. ASk them things like "are you single?" "are you looking for a boyfriend?" or "what type of boyfriend are you looking for" once you get the green light then go ahead and flirt. you have to have some flirting skills.

    Like you're such a nice sweet girl, I'd love for my parents to meet you. or

    You are such a "compliment of some sort here" and I'd love to hang out with you more.

    You're so nice, I had so much fun with you, etc.

    And keep sounding interested. ask questions about their lives, their favorite color, movie, music etc.

    • Well I DO do that stuff and it never works for me... so it's like I wasn't meant to be with anyone...

    • Show All
    • girls just want the simple things. A girl just wants a guy who has good morals, makes her feel special and like she is the only girl for him, a girl just wants a guy to spend quality time with her and cherish her. All she wants is some attention and someone to show her that her happiness matters. It's not too difficult. You make a girl really really happy and you turn her life around, she should appreciate it. If not, she wasn't worth it.

    • I will never get a girlfriend, I could do all the right things - doesn't have to mean anybody would want me

What Guys Said 2

  • Read as much as you can about "attraction" and spend as much time as possible developing yourself.

    Women are attracted to men who have passions, and friends, and "fun" energy.

    Here's something to get your started... link

    ~ Robby

    • Thank you. But why does it need to be so complex and complicated?

    • Sorry. I gotta report this post as spam. It hurts, I liked you!

    • It seems compacted because you are only now starting to ask these types of questions... the right questions.

      Most of what you need to learn in order to seduce a girl is about social skills. And many guys spend their entire youths figuring this out.

      Perhaps like me you've started a little late trying to figure this stuff out.

      It's not complicated, it's just new.

      Seduction, attraction and rapport are like a speaking an invisible language, but once you know it you'll be powerful.

  • I have been in that same situation, you just have to wait and be her friend. She will let you know if she likes you.

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