Waiting for girlfriend to choose between her ex and I...

So two weeks ago, my live-in girlfriend broke up. We broke up because she still had to see if she could work things out with her ex boyfriend. I love her to death, but I couldn't have her be with me, while she wondered if she could work it out with her ex. So I told her to choose...and that's how she ended up back with him...and since she really had nowhere to go, she moved in with him. I told her that I would wait for her till she can figure things out, and that I would not go after any other women till she figured out what she was doing. When she moved, she didn't have $$ for a storage unit, or a place to put any of her stuff, so a lot of it is still at my place. Id say at least three car loads worth.

So today, she told me that Adam (her ex who she is living with) asked her to be his girlfriend. Since she has only been there for two weeks, she said no...because it's not enough time for her to have figured things out (who she wants to be with). And I couldn't agree more.

So I'm wondering, should I be waiting for her to figure things out? I'm sitting at home missing her, with a bunch of her stuff at my place, while she is with her ex trying to figure things out? I would like to try and see other people, but I know its wrong for me if I told her I wouldn't. But it kills me to know she is doing...God knows what with him.

I'm also wondering something else. When we broke up, I told her she could stay with me...just as friends. That way she didn't have to move and figure out what to do with her stuff. She told me that she couldn't do it because its not healthy to live with an ex. This was before she knew where she was going...and the only place she really could stay is at her ex's. How do I go about bringing this up, especially if she is trying to figure out who she wants to be with (me or him). Or is this ok...even though they are probably having sex and whatnot? I really love this girl, and I would like to be with her more than anything in the world, and I don't want my emotions to interfere with making right and wrong decisions.

Any and All opinions are VERY welcome...even its to tell me I'm an idiot. Every unbiased opinion helps. Thanks you very much, Robbie


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What Girls Said 1

  • I think what she is doing is very disrepectful towards you. You brought up a great point that she doesn't want to live with her ex, yet she is living with her ex. I think she is playing with you now and doesn't want to be with either of you but made an excuse she wants her ex. Something is up, and she doesn't sound like she is being truthful. Also, at some point you are going to have to bring your emotions into it since it's a relationship that is based on emotions/feelings. If she keeps playing with your emotions then you will eventually have to put your foot down. If I were you, I would not take her back. She wants to have her cake and eat it too. Also, she is probably doing stuff with the guy she is living with; if I were you I would be disgusted with that and definitely not take her back. Good luck


What Guys Said 1

  • This sh*t cray!

    If I was seeing a girl and she said she didn't know who she wanted but she was moving in with her ex (the guy she might end up with) I would say PEACE OUT!

    The fact that she said living with an ex is unhealthy but...is living with her ex...that doesn't strike you as odd?

    Yea you guys love each other and she needs to decide but she's fully using you! she shouldn't be living with either of you and shouldn't be seeing either of you if she truly doesn't know.

    AND even worse is she broke up with her ex for a reason and the fact that you guys broke up so she can decide whether or not she wants to go back to him?!?! that's insane!

    There are so many alarms going off here that should just tell you this girl has problems and that you should move on!

    • this guys is spot on. kick that woman to the curb dude!

      letting her decide is giving her two options, remove you as an option and she will be back. find yourself someone who wants you. this will always be a problem for your relationship.

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