How to not be afraid of being in a relationship?

I will be 23 next month and never had a boyfriend..Guys have shown interests in me when I was in college but I was 1) busy with school and 2) always freak out whenever any guy show interest in me. At this point, with my age and maturity level, I feel like I should be able to handle being in a relationship but every time I think being in a relationship I feel like things won't work out and that I will not be able to please a guy and eventually break his heart.

I've tried to understand myself as to why I think the way I do about this but the only possible explanations that I can think of are that guys might not find me interesting since I am more of an introverted person and the fact that my relationships with my family and friends are not as strong as its suppse to be which makes me feel that I cannot offer a strong, intimate relationship.

How can I be confidence in myself so that I know that I am capable of being in a relationship?


Most Helpful Guy

  • First of all, if you feel introverted to the point that you don't have anything to offer in life then take some time for yourself and start working on some ambitous project or a hobby that you like. You might even meet guys that way depending on what you do.

    Being afraid of breaking someone's heart or being afraid of getting hurt yourself are probably the biggest reasons why people end up alone. Fear is just a wall that shields you from ever getting truly intimate with someone. But getting hurt is just another part of life and should be thought of something that strengthens you rather than something that needs to be avoided at all costs.

    My main argument, I think you need to tell yourself that nobody is perfect and that we can't please everyone. I'm turning 21 this summer, I still haven't officially dated anyone, I've got acne-scars, I have some issues with my father's side of the family, I used to be bullied as a kid resulting in me not learning too many social skills and I can be kinda border-line clingy at times.

    I can't promise I'll be the perfect boyfriend who'll never hurt the one I end up dating, but I can promise I'll do my best to be honest, respectful, supportive, open-minded, loyal and bent on improving my flaws. I feel that ever since I've adopted this attitude that I've gotten much better at flirting and getting closer to girls.

    Hope that helps.

    • thanks for the advice! I guess I just have to understand that it is just a part of life and I shouldn't be afraid

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What Guys Said 2

  • if it makes you feel better, I just turned 24 and I've never had a girlfriend, would be great to meet a girl like you so we can be each others' first

    • aww thanks! you seem like a great guy so I am sure you will find someone.

    • i hope so, although I have been on dates before it just never officially turned into a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship

    • whats your username? can I send you a friend request? or you add me? just asking since finding people our age who are inexperienced with the oppossite sex is extremely rare

  • You need to relax and live your life. Relationships are scary cause you are giving yourself to someone but are amazing because you have someone you can love, trust, count on etc... YOu need to stop being so hard on yourself and give it a try.

    • Thanks for the help! I do need to realize that I tend to be too hard on myself..everyone that knows me always tell me to just enjoy life and not be so critical on myself..

    • Thats good that you can see that in yourself. The more you stress the more you doubt yourself the less things will work out for you. If you relax be yourself and just have fun I am sure you will have dudes knocking on your door daily trying to get with you.

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