I want to talk to her, but then I want her to realize what it's like when I'm not there.

Quick back story: Stopped seeing this girl just over a month ago. We broke it off after 4 months because as the relationship progressed she felt like she wasn't ready since when we started seeing each other she just got out of a relationship (of 3 years) where the guy would make her feel guilt at times and towards the end of their relationship he basically proposed to her. She didn't want that and she broke it off with him.

My relationship with her was great, no bumps, no negative things to say, nothing but fun and good times. Introduced me to her friends and family and her parents loved me and her friends did as well.

My problem, its been just over a month and I'm giving her the space she wants, since she she says she hasn't been single in over 3 years. My problem is I don't know what to do...i mean in terms of talking to her. I'm letting her initiate conversations but I don't want to not initiate them as she might think I don't care. I want to talk to her to stay on her mind but I don't want to talk to her too much so that she just gets over everything so easily and then puts me into the "friends" zone. But then I don't want to NOT talk to her because I don't want to lose her nor do I want to make it seem like I just don't want anything to do with her.

Its so hard, it was a perfect relationship and I can understand a need for her wanting some "me time" but at the same time I don't understand how you would want to stop seeing someone that makes you so happy and you have a great time with. She's not the type to just hook up with guys and is serious about relationships so I'm not really expecting her to go around seeing guys now.

I want to talk to her but then I want her to realize what it's like when I'm not there. I don't know how often I should initiate contact or if I should hint my feelings towards her or just keep it straight friends. If I talk to her about all of this she just says I'm over thinking thinks and that her mind is at ease and she wants me to live my life.

She'll talk to me (through BBM) and just start it off with random things about her day, then she'll stop talking and sometimes hours later text me right before she goes to bed wishing me a good night.

Any advice about anything would be good. past experience, if you were her how would you hope I act around you..etc...anything at all


Most Helpful Girl

  • It sounds like she has other issues that are unrelated to you that are weighing on her greatly. Yeah I don't think you need to worry about her seeing other guys. But maybe she isn't sure about her relationship with you in the sense that she maybe not as attracted to you as much as you are to her (at least that was what I experienced with my boyfriend in high school) I think she is just too distracted to be completely invested and completely present in the relationship as you are. SO maybe you can help her or make sure she knows that you are there to help her through whatever she needs and that you genuinely care for what else is going on in her life, best of luck

    • thanks for the BA best of luck!

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What Girls Said 1

  • Don't play games, You like her. Don't ever ignore calls and texts messages trust me you could make the situation worse. One thing men should know when you play these games wanting her to call you first or miss you, Remember Guys are always trying to get her. She might say she want to be alone but we got some smooth opearators out there.

    • I'm not going to ignore HER texts or calls. I'm just not initiating them for now. I'm not going to sit here and text her every other day like we are cool while she goes out there being single and doing whatever she wants, you know what I mean? I'm trying to give her space She asked for and if she really likes me then why wouldn't she ignore the smooth operators and know that she wants to be with me. At some point I will initiate but not right now, I'm not going to play her game

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