Who do I choose? My heart belongs to the bad boy, but I should choose the nice guy.

Well, so here's the story. I was dating a guy for a little while. Turns out he was hiding some things from me including: smoking weed, moving away and not telling me, and him trying to get me pregnant. We had an incredibly nasty breakup, but we later settled our differences in a good way. He recently contacted me again telling me that he loves me and still cares about me and wants to get back together. I'm tempted to as well, but I'm just not sure. My friends and family all think he's bad news, and that I can do so much better. Truth be told though, I'm still in love with him. He has said that he has changed and is trying to make something of his life. I just don't know what to believe.

Then there's this other guy that I met. I don't know a whole lot about him because I met him online. He's nice, funny, cute, and very successful. He works about 70 hours a week, is older and is looking for a serious relationship. As much as I want to give him a chance, I just feel like he's maybe lying, and it's not who he really is. He just seems way too good to be true. I want to give him a chance, but I am still in love with my ex. Plus, I am scared what my ex could do if he found out I was seeing another guy. He goes to the same school as me, and has threatened me in the past. I'm not sure what to do.

You are all right. My ex cancelled on me after we were supposed to go to the movies. Other guy I have never met in person. It is so hard to find someone anymore. I'm just better off alone.


Most Helpful Guy

  • First of all, if you aren't over your ex, you shouldn't be considering any other guys either. It isn't healthy for you, and isn't fair to them.

    Second, you are a fool to even consider going back to a guy who acts like your ex. Threatening you? Trying to get you pregnant without your consent? What? This guy is nothing but trouble, and is just telling you what you want to hear right now.

    I don't know where your head is at, but you're a mess right now, and I really recommend you get some counselling and figure out what you really want and need, and try to have a healthy relationship instead of these train-wrecks that you are attracted to. You scare me a little right now. You deserve much better, but clearly, you don't believe that.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 4

  • Dump your ex, who is a psychopath.

    Give the new guy a chance, but if you're not feeling it, move on.

  • You are dumb. Do the world a favor and get pregnant by the bad boy and go live in this trailer park, preferably in Kansas so we all have a higher probability of getting lucky that a tornado will end your existence.

    That first guy is a piece of sh*t, and you are considering spending some part of your like with it.

    The second guy you met online. Have you met him in person? Have you talked to his friends to find out if he is legitimate?

  • Your ex sounds great. You should get back with him.

  • Go out with the bad boy

    Save the new guy a lot of trouble, he can do much better


What Girls Said 3

  • Never, ever have anything to do with any person who threatens you - period!

  • I don't really see a dilemma here as far as choosing goes.

    Have you met the online guy? I say you should go with your gut instinct, he probably is not who he seems. Certainly, if you met him you already have some idea whether the picture he is painting of himself is probably not true.

    Your ex, well, he was a fake too. Big time. If you don't want to go out with fake #2, why would you want to go back to fake #1. Worse, you two are not together but you are fearful that he would do something if he found out you were seeing someone else. What a prize of a guy.

    So, I think you should not choose either guy and stay out of the dating game for a bit. If you really want to consider taking the ex back, which I personally think is a really bad idea, you need to give him some sh*t tests. A guy who would lie about so many big things (I don't even know what his deal was with trying to get you pregnant) has a big problem. Problems like that are deep and don't just go away. So unless you put him to the test before you get back together to see if he has his act together or is just giving you lip service, then shame on you if you find out he's up to no good again.

    • You are as dumb as she is. The guy is garbage. I more women had a shred of intelligence so I could stop seeing them even consider crap like this. 'give him some sh*t tests'...what a moron to even leave the option open.

    • Well I have learned a few things over the years. Calling people names rarely gets them to see your point. In fact, it stands a better chance of getting them to do the opposite. People do much better when you give them your perspective and some ideas to work with, but still give them the respect to make the decision themselves. This guy is a piece of work, no doubt, but she obviously has some attachment to him or she wouldn't have considered asking anyone for advice.

    • And when emotional attachment is involved, I have seen both men and women go back to some pretty bad situations regardless that it made no sense. If relationships were all about what made common sense, this website wouldn't even exist.

  • Well I'm going through something very similar here. I could tell you that you deserve better and just forget about him and try to date the other guy that somehow seems like a nice guy, don't get me wrong you do deserve better, but the truth is that its easier to say that actually do it . I think sometimes with should just think with our head and the heart to shut the hell up. I'll give you the advise of someone who's just going thorough the same situation. Your heart probably wants be with your ex but mind's like ohhh you sure that smart to do girl ? and deep inside you know its just not too smart. Why don't you just take slow with you ex talk to him about the thing that you need him to change and give him a chance prove himself. Keep talking to the other guy just get to know him chill,like friends whatever just keep him around you never know what could come of that. There's no need to tell you ex you seeing someone or anybody for that matter.

    Good Luck <3