Dating etiquette, dating more than one person...?

Probably need more a guy perspective here, talking to two guys awhile, havnt met either, and want to meet both to see if I like them in person, I don't see the harm in dating them both at least for 2-3 dates to see who I like best, what do people think (im new to the dating scene...) and should I bring up the fact that I'm dating somone else or should I just wait until the guy brings up that subject? I'm thinkin it might be weird to just bring that up as its early days...

thanks for the advice guys!


Most Helpful Guy

  • I think the idea of dating multiple people is an old school approach. It used to be more required, but not because of technology, we can get a good feel for people before we even meet them. Plus its a lot harder to do things in secret, because of cell phones and the internet.

    In your case, since you haven't met either of them yet, I would say there isn't much wrong with going out with both of them on a date to see which one you like better, however I don't think you should go on more than one or 2 dates before you make up your mind.

    I also don't suggest telling them about each other, because you will ruin your chances with both. I can't speak for girls, but guys don't like it when a girl they are after is also doing things with another guy.

    Basically I wouldn't make a habit of doing this. It shouldn't take long to know if you like a guy at all. Don't go giving guys false impressions by going out on multiple dates (or even a date at all), if you really don't like them anymore or you already pretty much know that you like someone better.


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What Guys Said 4

  • There's no harm in dating more than one guy in the beginning; you could easily meet one of them and learn that you two are simply incompatible (heck, it could happen to both). You might just let them know that you take things a little slow, and that you reserve the right to go on dates with other guys until the point where things get a little more serious. That way, they know that they're going to need to be willing to commit to a relationship before things go too far. The guys who aren't willing to do that will go away, so you won't have to waste any more time on them.

    It *is* kind of an old-school approach, but there's nothing wrong with it either.

  • I've done the same thing, except with girls not guys obviously.

    It's an okay thing to do as long as you're just testing it out.

    When I do it I make sure not to lead them on too much, by making it into a full-blown relationship. I make sure things maintain a casual feel about it, while at the same time still being serious about getting to know that person better.

    You don't have to bring it up, but a good way to do it, is just ask "what are you looking for?" Then you can tell them you are interested in getting to know them a little better before committing to anything or whatever it is you feel.

    When you meet someone you don't just jump into a relationship, you date and see how things go, that's natural. They shouldn't be bothered if that's what you do, so it shouldn't matter if you therefore are getting to know a few guys so long as you're fair to them and honest when they want to know.

  • As long as you keep it casual, at your age, guys should assume that they might not be the only person you're seeing. It's nice to be straightforward about it at the beginning, but you would run the risk of turning some guys off right at the beginning of the date. I would certainly not hide it, but it doesn't need to be specifically brought up by you until after a 2-3 dates and things are moving in a positive direction.

  • I don't see the harm in it. It would be a very inexperienced chap who would assume exclusivity on the first date.


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