Dating An Asian Girl for the First Time

For the Asian girls out there, what gives?

So there's this Asian (Chinese to be more specific) girl who I've been hitting it off with online. When I told her that I thought she was adorable (her smile is so cute! ^_^) she was a bit upset, because apparently she thinks that cute = immature.

Oh well, mistake on my part?

She's very attractive, and I thought that would be a harmless comment, but apparently not. Having not dated Asian girls before, my question is really for Asian girls specifically. Personally, I don't like this whole "yellow fever" phrase, as I don't call any Asian girl who likes me having "white fever". (I'm white.)

More specifically, do Asian girls dislike being called cute? How about just not mentioning their looks at all, lest you think the white guy is into you for a fetish? She seems like an interesting girl (classic Asian overachiever), but I don't want to scare her away and give her the wrong impression that I'm dating her solely on the basis of her being an asian.

Yes, she's cute and all, but that's the only the reason why I picked her out.

So Asian ladies, your thoughts?

Thank you!

P.S. She says she doesn't like "adorable" either, as it makes her think that other people think of her as some sort of child. She's so damn cute, it makes it hard to not think of her that way. :)
Whoops, should have said "that's not the only reason I picked her out".


Most Helpful Girl

  • Asian women are stereotypically seen as small, petite, childlike, adorable, or innocent. No woman wants to be seen as childlike. Call her something more womanly like sexy, beautiful, etc. Make her feel like a grown woman by her compliments because so much of society paints her with a childlike brush.

    • I was avoiding saying that because I just didn't want to seem like some white guy just trying to get inside an Asian girl's panties for my own fantasy, instead of being interested in her as a person?

    • Compliment her brain. If she is a smart woman, we always appreciate that!

      Just so whomever gave me the downvote knows, I am talking based on experiences with close friends of mine who are Asian. If you disagree, feel free to share why instead of downvoting.

    • Okay, I'll try to focus on her accomplishments. Thanks!

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 5

  • Western culture values youth, but some Eastern cultures value age and maturity. So terms that suggest youthfullness in our culture may not be compliments to others.

    • Hmmm, I hadn't thought about it that way, thanks for the tidbit.

  • You really are making a big problem out of nothing. All this stuff has little to do with her being of Asian descent. It is just the process of you getting to know a girl, in a similar way as a girl will get to know you. And, yes, there is a likelyhood that somewhere along the line either you or her, may feel that the two of you are not a match. But that has nothing to do with her Asian background or your 'white; background.

    • I'd like to agree with you, but I'm not so sure. Our conversations online where not overtly sexual, but she stated that she thought most white guys were "too hands on" early in dating and that she was suspicious. I didn't try to make an ethnic issue, she brought it up, so that's why I'm concerned.

  • Classical Asian overachiever you say... straight A s in school and wants to try anything, super challenging and like to use 'cool' language? like 'what you up to'? instead of how are you per say? if that's the case then you can comment more sex-related, you look so ficey/hawt... but also comment more to score is on how unique/smart/hard-working...and if she tells you that she's an overachiever, then you need to compliment her on that often, she'll like it!

    • Thanks for the advice!

  • I certainly don't.

    Compliment her, just like you would to any girl. Now, you know she doesn't like to be called cute and adorable. Stay away from those words, haha.

    • Hey, you're cute too. ^_^

      What are you Filipina? I'm sure you have a sexy smile, where is it in your pictures?

  • Not all Asian girls are the same, it depends on their personality and how they were raised. In Asian and i would actually be flattered if a guy called me cute, i dont know what her problem is.


What Guys Said 1

  • Is she from China? I know why she wants to date a white guy. Anyway, Asian girls like being complimented similar to any other women.

    • She was born in China but came over to the U.S. with her parents when she was 8 years old.

    • Depending on where she grew up, she could have already assimilated into American culture, white-washed.

    • She said that she feels Americanized, not like F.O.B. like some of the Asians I've met. It isn't like she speaks with a really strong accent or something like that. To me, she's a girl, who just happens to be asian. Prior to her, I've dated mostly just white girls and a few latinas.