What does this guy want? A relationship or a hookup? He's "def wants to chill"

So, long story short, there's this cute guy I work with. I've always busted his chops and stuff. It didn't really go anywhere and I never saw him. Then, very recently, I felt like this spark of tension, when we were talking when we were alone. The conversation was about partying and there was just this very tense vibe in the room. I left work didn't think much of it. Then he added me through a social networking website. He had to do some searching because it's pretty diff to find me. Then he contacted me and told me that he quit our workplace (pet store) and he gave me his number. We started texting and he said something along the lines how he would miss me at work. I obvi took that initiative to tell him to see me outside of work. Essentially, he wanted to chill and suggested we go see a movie or something and he would contact me with a date and time. He usd tons of smiley faces and wink faces. Next day, he didn't text me. I waited to text him until later on in the day. He told me he was drinking and we flirted a little more via text. Eventually, he asked me when I was avaliable to hang out and I said anytime and he said anytime. Then we decided on the next day. As for what we were going to do, I asked him what he wanted to do and he kept on throwing the question back at me. He told me he wanted to smoke but if we could do whatever I wanted like to get a bite to eat. I asked him where he wanted to go and he said he doesn't go out for food. We finally decided on something. The next day he bails on me and apologizes saying that he forgot about somethings he had to do but def. wanted to hang out some time. He didn't text me after that. And I decided to see if he'll come to me. So, I just let it be.

Essentially what does he want? He flirts - it's all cutesy and busting chops and very appropriate. it's never risque. He's very quiet and shy - my overall impression of him at the few times of work. Does he just wanna hook up? or he just testing the waters and is actually interested? What does "hang out" mean in this sense of the situation?


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What Guys Said 1

  • If he isn't being lewd or anything while you guys are texting, he's more than likely like me, shy and reserved. The level of your communication makes me think that he thinks you're too much for him (in a good way) and that he doesn't deserve you. I have this feeling a lot with girls and then I don't go forward with the dating situation.

    If he is like me, like I think he is then you have to pursue him a little bit more without being aggressive. Let him know that you are interested in him and see what happens.

    Not claiming psychic powers or anything, so this could totally be missing the mark.


What Girls Said 1

  • He's not taking it very seriously if he would honestly suggesting smoking as an activity for a first date lol I really think it's a combination of not being 100% interested, and also being kind of scared to go on a real date. He seems like the type that would prefer you to just show up at his house and smoke a blunt. I get the impression he's a little clueless and flaky. Don't get too invested.