How to deal with being labeled a loser

hate to say this, but I am in my late 20s and I can't get my life together. I'm going to school and will finish next year with a BA at a university, but I already have a degree from a community college.

When I was younger I had no idea what to do in college. My hormones were racing and I thought the business field would be great. I didn't give a career much thought and I had no one to guide me as my parents ended up unsuccessful as well. I couldn't get a job with just an associates so I ended up with a low level IT job.

I quit because I couldn't take the long late night hours at that job anymore. I tried going back to school at 24, but my grandpa started losing his mind and there were young women trying to take advantage of him. If I went back to school then I would be abandoning my family during a crisis. I decided to do the right thing and help my family. It took 4 years to straighten everything out with my grandpa because no one would help including the government.

I now feel like I missed everything and I am terriblely lonely. every time I talk about my life with someone everyone writes me off as a lazy loser. It is very hard on me and it is very hard to get dates because of my life story. I would really like to get married, but at this rate everything looks really bad.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Stop looking back and regerting stuff Or thinking about stufF that happened ages ago.

    You are 24 right? It is not too late,you have nothing to worry about like wife,children...etc. Restart, You have time to rebuild yourself and do better,take other courses you like,Start working and studying again,you are now just wasting time sitting,complaining and putting yourself down the way others did to you.

    Just let that go and start from now making plans, visualize your goal,imagine that you are going to it And work to Really get to it.

    We humans need someone to motivates us,doesn't matter if it's in a negative or possitive way,even If they called you loser,it is a way for you to move forward,they are pushing you forward to prove the opposite.

    Yea,We feel weak when no one encouarges us or with us, things end up hard on us. but it is OK, you are not alone, your parents are waiting for you to be that person who they couldn't be. a successful man. you are alive so keep trying to acheive your goal,you are not going to lose anything.

    Make at least your parents proud of having you in their lives.

    And you are not a lazy loser, prove that, not to them or to anyone else but yourself, do you think that they are right? What others think about you doesn't matter,what you think of yourself does.


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What Girls Said 2

  • You aren't labeled a loser, least you shouldn't be! No one should judge you based on what you went through, don't think that every bad thing that occurs is because of what all has happened. Just saying! I'm sure that you are a wonderful guy, one day you will bet married.. Things happen at certain rates, not everything goes according to plan. But when the time comes, you will be happy:)

  • My advice to you would be to focus on YOU right now. It was very noble of you to care for your family when you did, but now its YOUR turn.

    I was a late bloomer just as you. My career didn't begin until age 26, so your not alone.

    In todays economy, any job is a asset right now. If I were you I would get a job. Any job. Once your working steadily, it will be much easier to find and land a better one. Everyone has to start somewhere. And once your working I bet your outlook on life, your self esteem ect will greatly improve, and trust me, women respond to that..

    If you choose to return to school, do so at night so you can continue to work.

    Good luck :-)


What Guys Said 1

  • Bro, I didn't get into uni until my late 20's. And even then, it was my early 20's when I decided what I wanted to do with my life.

    I'm still on my path, and even though it may take longer than everyone else to get their sh*t together, the advice I can offer you is this:

    Alpha males don't run with the pack, they lead it.

    What I mean is, other people expect you to me at a certain point in your life. But what about you.

    The most successful people in this world are the ones that make the scarifices nessessary to get to where they need to be.

    When you've reached YOUR GOAL in life (not the ones others expect of you), then you can be prepared to live the life you want.

    In all the time I tried to get into uni, I only got to do less than a year of study when I got there. The life expectancies of other people got in the way of my goals. Now that I am in my 30's I am planning to go back.

    I'm not married either, but that is the scarifice I make to get what I want.

    You are not a Lazy Loser,

    You are like me, potential in potential.

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