I don't know who I truly want to be with?

I have this long distant guy Iv talked to on and off for 2 years and then I have my boyfriend we went for 4 months broke up for 8 and we are now back together coming up to 9 months when I was with my boyfriend before the long distant guy and I were on a break then the long distant guy came back right before my boyfriend broke up with me when my boyfriend can back to me the long distant guy said he wanted to date other people but still have us talk all the time he said he didn't want to no what I was doing though so I didn't tell him I gave my v card to my boyfriend because I no he loved me so much and I love him but I also love the long distant guy and he says he loves me too the long distant guy got a girlfriend to and he told me what he did with her and that but me so much when he told me but he broke up with her and said he loved me and wanted to be with me I can't be with him now tho Mabye in college but my boyfriend found out about the long distant guy and I felt so bad and was so upset because he really loves me more than anything and would never hurt me so I broke it off with the long distant guy and this is the first time I broke it off with him all the other times he did it and I told him its best that we don't talk until we can see each other and he's all mad about it and says he misses me but continues to get mad and says I never loved him or care about him when I do but I also love my boyfriend and don't want to hurt him because he needs me in his life I'm the only one who understands him but I still want to Maybe have a chance with the long distant guy but he's not being understanding when I say I have a lot of problems I'm dealing with and talking to you is only making things hard for me to deal with everything so we should take a break but IMO its going to be a wild until I can see him again and I'm scared he's going to move on but I am so confused on what I really want I don't no who I really want I love and care about them both so much but I no I need to pick one of them and I need help because I am so confused.


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