What to expect when dating a divorced man with a child?

Im 26 and single, never married and no kids, I live on my own and have a good job. I'm a pretty girl but I'm also picky. I never seen my self in this situation but I met a guy at work, and we have a ridiculous connection, everything with us is so natural and we have been seeing each other for a few weeks now and no one knows, we are a secret from everyone at wok and its fun for us! He's good looking and so sweet, and he really likes me. Everything is perfect, except I'm so scared to be in a serious relationship with him because he has been divorced and has a 4 year old daughter. He is 30, and the daughter lives with the mother so I know I will not be a mother figure to the girl, he's a great father and I think its sweet, but I'm not sure if I can see my self in this situation for the long run although everything with us is amazing. there's things I have noticed already, sometimes I have to pay if we want to go out, because he has child support to pay, and all his other expenses. He is moving in with a friend soon to save money and promises he will have money to do more with me. I don't want him to have money for me, I don't mind but it makes me wonder what else to expect out of this situation and honestly, what should I do?


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  • I was an only child who was raised by a single dad, so I can try to help you. I'm 21 now so my dad can just date all he wants, lol. But it's different when they are kids, of course. This is all based on how my dad went about in the world of dating, every guy is different but here's some stuff you should know:

    - ALWAYS expect him to put his child before you. Overall, she is more important. So if he cancels a date at the last second, your first assumption should be that his daughter needs him (i.e. she is sick or something).

    - You said you've been dating for a few weeks, and you probably haven't met his daughter yet. Be patient. Once you meet the kid, you're in :) He's in it for the long haul if he introduces his child to you. Keep in mind though, that kids can develop emotional attachments very easily which can make breakups hard (if it ever comes to that)

    - You already realized this - he probably doesn't have a lot of money. Don't worry about it, if he is a decent guy he will repay you in other ways. Just go out on some free or really cheap dates in the meantime. Those tend to be the best dates anyways.

    - His ex might get jealous, especially since her kid is also involved in this. My dad never had this problem as my mother had died when I was a baby, but just be aware of this.

    - After you've been dating for a LONG time (and I mean that, maybe like 8-12 months), and his kid seems to like you, it's okay to buy them small things. Ask him first, though. As a kid, my dad had a couple of girlfriends who would bring me really girlie things like Barbies and dresses. I think my dad actually loved this more than I did! One of them even took me out shopping, which I loved because I didn't have a mother to do that with. I would hold off on outings with his daughter, though, until it's okay with the two of them for you to be directly involved in their family. That brings me nicely to my next point:

    - Once in a while, make plans that involve all three of you like going to the zoo or something. But do this only after you've been together for a while and it's okay with him.

    Um, I think that's all I can say for now. Good luck =)

  • no guy will be perfect in every way. the age gap between you isn't that great but the life experience is very different so that may be an issue. you may be able to work it out, or you may not. do some serious thinking, as things progress. all relationships will be filled with compromise, but if it gets serious is the possibility of having a step daughter something you are willing to do? it can make relationships messy but in your case it may not be a breaker if all the parties can work with it.

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