How do I avoid the ones who play games?

I'm a nice and trusting person, so when a girl tells me that they like me I tend to believe them... But in my last three relationships, it turned out that they were all just playing me for a fool. One slept with me on Friday night and then my best friend on Sunday, another turned out she had a boyfriend the whole time she was dating me, and then the last one made it look like she was interested one minute but then completely ignored me another. I'm not very experienced with dating, I am a shy person and it's hard for me to approach girls. But even though I'm like that I still try and do my best to find someone special. It's just a bit frustrating and scary to know that I can be so easily fooled by people... How can I avoid this? I know it's not always easy to spot the liars... but with the way things have been going for me, it's a little disappointing.


Most Helpful Guy

  • The way to weed out game players in my opinion is finding someone that is really interested in you. If you get a gut feeling the relationship is a lot of work on your part it's probably not worth pursuing. Don't get me wrong I'm not saying that you should give very little effort because that's also bad. Expect to try but when you come to a point where your interest isn't putting the same effort, or even 75%, it's time to look for someone else. Judge someone's actions higher than their words. Words mean very little and are very easy to hide behind.

    • I agree with the actions over words statement... the last girl I was dating told me to my face that she was still interested in going out on dates with me, then never got in contact with me afterward and ended up with someone else.

    • Yes, you can't really believe everything you hear. It's hard to be so critical sometimes, but it will be the thing that saves you from hurt feelings down the road. I think if she shows me she cares it means so much more. Just being there when I need her is the main thing I tend to stress in my relationships. If I don't have that it just feels empty and meaningless.

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What Girls Said 2

  • You just have to take things slow. Talk to the girl and really try to get to know her. Don't sleep with her right away. I know it's hard, but if you take the time, you will eventually find this stuff out. Dating is never easy, I had to wait 8 months to find my boyfriend. And we waited like 5 months before we had sex. We wanted to get to know each other first, and I wanted to make sure he was with me for the right reasons.

    I don't know where you are meeting these people, but I would try to meet people with similar interests as you. That way you have something to kind of bond over.

    The girl who ignored you may have just not been interested. In love there is no guarantee. There are probably girls you meet who you aren't interested in, but they like you. You might not know, but it does happen. I had this one guy who was leading me on. We met up once, and he said he would like to see me again, and that we should plan a day. So I texted him, planned a day and then he would cancel minutes before meeting. It was terrible, I don't know why he didn't just come out and say he wasn't interested. It really did hurt.

    We also all go through ruts, and maybe that is what is happening for you. I would do what you can to keep your chin up, dating is not fun and it's had until you find that special person. Some people find love easier than others. My one friend for instance, met her boyfriend in high school and they have been together ever since. But with me, it's been on heartache after another. I have just finally found a guy who has stayed with me over a year. Love takes a lot of work, so it's not surprising you are having a hard time.

    It's rare to find someone right away and for things to just go smoothly. Sometimes you need to be patient and do what you can to put yourself out there more. I would go to new places and try to talk to as many people as possible. It's all you can do to meet someone who might connect with you.

    Good luck!

    • lol wtf. up to girl to push off sex, a guy isn't going to not sleep with a girl that'll put out. man, that's ignorant

  • i guess you can see it in their eyes if their serious or something


What Guys Said 2

  • if you sniff out a rat in the early stages of dating, drop her. and never let your guard down. when you meet the right girl, you'll know.

  • women play mind games whether or not they mean to.

    i think you expect too much from people / expect a level of depth that girls just aren't going to deliver on.

    you need to approach it all as a fun game, and once you do that, its liberating