Could I have screwed up my chances?

We went out 3 times, each time he initiated, I followed up. All three times were, there was amazing chemistry, he couldn't stop telling me how amazing I looked and how attracted to me he is. After the third time he left for out of town for "couple of weeks" - that's what he said, very ambiguously. So about 2 weeks after, I got impatient and I texted him casually asking what was up(one of the few times I've initiated contact), he texted back immediately, turns out he was still not in town, said he would call me once he got back. Here's what I don't think I should've done. A week after when I still hadn't heard from him, I called him, he answered immediately and seemed happy to hear from me. He said he was coming back on the 15th, and we would hang out again. That was yesterday, and I Haven't heard from him still. Should I be worried? Did that phone call ruin my chances?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Hey there,

    In essence I agree with the previous answer. But I wish to expand on it a little.

    Personally, and this is also something I am finding a lot of people are agreeable with is the "follow up" phone call too soon. The three day rule, when is it OK to say the "L" word and even recently I had a mate ask me when it was OK to... well lets just say it was a flatulence related question in which case I called him an idiot.

    The point being... no two people are the same. So why is it that one should apply these "socially excepted norms" that don't take into consideration that core essential point. Everybody is different.

    So they way around it? Simple. Be yourself. Yes we all try to make ourselves better than what we really are when first dating someone, we are all guilty of it, even yours truly. But to cut to the chase, if you like somebody or are interested don't be afraid in coming out and saying it. As wouldn't you not rather know from the outset that perhaps you two are compatible? It can save an awesome amount time, frustration, SECOND GUESSING AND ANALYSING EVERY MOVE YOU MAKE AND THEIR SUBSEQUENT RESPONSE and more importantly heartache.

    It goes on the simple principle, if you don't ask you don't know. Yeah, you may end up with egg on your face. But again, would you rather feel a tad embarrassed early, work out that it won't work and move on, or go through the alternative; being what you're doing now.

    There could be any number of reasons why this guy has been busy but the only way to know would be to ask.

    Hope this helps and makes some sense.

    Either way I wish you all the best.



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What Guys Said 3

  • Tell him that he is late for his appointment, and you are now charging interest :) If he asks how much, just be witty. (I can think of a few stock comebacks)

    Anyway, your phone call didn't ruin your chances. Something else might have (or not have), but it wasn't the phone call.

  • No. Why are women so religious about not calling / hom much they call / and this tit for tat game. Personally I think he has been less than considerate, and you have snagged a hottie who has plenty on his mind.

  • jesus, women can be so frustrating! I mean it is ingrained in our society that initially guys have to ask girls out, ya it f***in blows but whatever, there are plenty of advantages to being a guy so I suppose it evens out. but when you make him initiate EVERYTHING, that's just selfish and f***ed up. No one wants to be in a relationship where they have to do all the work. So I guess the short answer to your questions is "no"

    • Well it hasn't been exactly like that, I have made contact as well, I was just being emphatic about the fact that he did seem really into me. I don't usually have hang ups about calling first. It's just I was worried that I mightve f***ed it up since he told me categorically he would get in touch with me when he was back and I called him still. Also he was back yesterday, and nothing from him still. So, you know

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