Do I have the right to be mad or jealous?

My girl wants to be "friends" with a guy she used to date before me. Am I wrong for telling her she needs to stop talking to him. I just don't believe it's right or possible for someone to be "friends" with someone they were once attracted to. Should I be concerned or what else can I do?



Most Helpful Guy

  • Remind her that girls and guys tend to make crappy friends. They generally have different interests, communicate differently, and sex gets in the way. Sex gets in the way; they used to date.

    She's in a relationship with you now and this is something she needs to respect (and of course something you need to return with your girl friends). If this is something you believe in, then make it clear to her that she will need to choose. She will respect you for standing up for what you believe in.

    • I completely disagree. Guys and girls can make great friends, but both should know there is a boundary, especially if one or both have someone else. There shouldn't be a restriction on who one can be friends with just because they are of the opposite sex. There's a thing called trust and loyalty that many can abide by.

    • Yes... if both parties start out honest. Does this happen? Or are guys more likely to become friends with grls, trying to work it from the inside. And girls... target practice, sexless boyfriends, or letting it start out slow and seeing what happens (like a TV show).

      Guys tend to communicate more rationally--being direct, open, and honest.

      Girls tend to communicate through emotion and implication--being indirect and by inference.

    • Guys tend to like sports, cars, and video games. They like solutions to problems.

      Girls tend to like make-up, gossip, etc. and tend to focus on feelings rather than solutions.

      Then there is still the white elephant issue of the possibility of one person having a romantic interest in the other. Eventually one might end up liking the other and ask them out. Friendship over.

      I could go on. You probably get the point.

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What Girls Said 2

  • In all honesty if my boyfriend told me who I could or couldn't be friends with I would have more than a few problems with that! Firstly, whilst I may be in a relationship with a guy it does not mean in turn that I am their property! I belong to me and who I choose to spend my time with is my choice! Secondly, and perhaps most importantly I would have to question the trust my boyfriend had in me if he couldn't handle the fact that an ex was still a part of my life! Don't get me wrong! If she was acting suspiciously about the friendship then of course you may have cause for concern but just because your girlfriend is friends with an ex, I really don't see any need to worry! I myself rarely maintain friendships with exes bar one. He is extremely important to me but my feelings for him are completely different to how they were when we together. In all honesty, she is probably at the same stage as I am! If you are happy in a new relationship, it is often easier to see why you are better off without your ex AND with those old feelings gone why a friendship with them is worth having! Speaking as a woman, if I were you I would take this as a sign that she is happy! With YOU!

  • Ok, to be completely honest, I have never stayed friends with a guy who I had once been attracted to and didn't still have some attraction to him. But, I did have a boyfriend and I was completely loyal to him always. I think it depends on the person. If you really trust her than you shouldn't be worried about it, even if she is attracted to this friend she once dated. Attraction doesn't mean that anything will happen between them. If she's loyal, she will know how to set a boundary with him. I know I was very loyal, never cheated, but had these guy friends still.


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