Why am I still single? shyness?

I'm 22 and I have never, ever had a boyfriend... I am very shy! especially around guys who I think are cute. I have been on dates with guys before (I've been out with 3 different guys) but none of them wanted to continue to date me :( I think it's because I'm shy? I've also had other men interested in me but I am kind of picky with who I go out with (the other men have been too old in my opinion 5/6 years older) or I haven't found them attractive...

should I be less picky because otherwise I might never find someone?

and how can I be less shy? I think it's a big turn off for the guys I go on dates with


Most Helpful Guy

  • I think it's great you've never had a boyfriend... basically when your younger, were like dumber I think. More immature and just don't know how to make decisions less... more impulsive. Now that I'm older I can think more clearly and I'm VERY glad I didn't seriously look for a girl as a teenager.

    Anyways I think shyness is cute... and it's OK, a guy should be understanding of your shyness, it's just how you are atm and that's OK. What I would recommend is in order not to be shy, maybe go to a Christian Church and make some friends and just friends and through talking to people more and more, you'll find a guy who likes you, shy or not shy.

    About being picky, becareful with that... I'm picky and I think it can be prideful. But it depends on your heart... are you being picky because your vain?

    Also I will share the gospel real quick with you

    Exodus 20

    10 Commandments

    1 “I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage. You shall have no other gods before Me.

    2 “You shall not make for yourself a carved image, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth; you shall not bow down to them nor serve them. For I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and fourth generations of those who hate Me, but showing mercy to thousands, to those who love Me and keep My Commandments.

    3 “You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain, for the Lord will not hold him guiltless who takes His name in vain.

    4 “Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is the Sabbath of the Lord your God. In it you shall do no work: you, nor your son, nor your daughter, nor your male servant, nor your female servant, nor your cattle, nor your stranger who is within your gates. For in six days the Lord made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, and rested the seventh day. Therefore the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and hallowed it.

    5 “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you.

    6 “You shall not murder.

    7 “You shall not commit adultery.

    8 “You shall not steal.

    9 “You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.

    10 “You shall not covet your neighbor's house; you shall not covet your neighbor's wife, nor his male servant, nor his female servant, nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor anything that is your neighbor's.”

    These are God's Law's, and as you can see they are good. if you broke one of em.. and unless your perfect I'm sure you did, you'd go to hell for that. It's like a justice system. Good people follow these laws, evil ones don't. Unfortunately everyone is in the same boat at first... we've all failed to keep the commandments. So all justly can go to hell.

    And here's the great news.

    John 3:16

    • John 3:16

      16 For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.

      Basically, God sent his son... to fullfill/accomplish the ten commandments for us. His son Jesus Christ, who is man and God. He lived a perfect life, as a good man, something we can't do by ourselves. And you know that penalty we suffer, Hell, that's death. Jesus died, sacrificed himself on the cross, willingly to take that death for us and th

    • and then resurrected from the dead, showing us that God can defeat death. And all we have to do is believe that Jesus Christ is Lord and Savior and we have everlasting life, relying on Jesus Christ's work... instead of our own works... trying to glorify ourselves...it's better to glorify God.

      That'll help solve all your problems, not just the one your asking about :)

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • Settling is how people end up in unsatisfying relationships. Being shy shouldn't be a gamebreaker, but if its so bad you can't talk, or aren't really able to carry (or at least contribute) to a good conversation then the guys might either think you aren't really interested, or decide that they aren't. Only way to get less shy is to force yourself into situations that make you uncomfortable. It will get easier the more you do it!

    • I talk to them pretty well... just don't know how to show them I'm interested with body language ect...

  • Sweet - there is nothing wrong with being shy. And there is definitely nothing wrong with being single at 22. Juat wait till you find someone true. Nothing wrong either with finding that special one and getting married and saving everything for him.

  • It's probably the shyness.

    Girls who are shy, especially chronically shy, often come across as aloof, dismissive, unapproachable.

    They are also bloody hard work on a date. Getting them to talk about anything is like pulling teeth.

    There are exercises you can do to work on improving your shyness. Google them and do those.

    And if you aren't bringing much to the dating scene, it's probably not a good idea to set unrealistic standards for yourself.

    • I talk to them on the dates... but I'm shy to hold hands and things like that.

      I don't think I'm setting unrealistic standards... I just don't see a point in dating someone if they aren't someone I truly want, or if I think they are unsuitable for me (the older guys).

    • Show All
    • Well, if you want to deny it's even a problem, you probably shouldn't have mentioned it as a possibility in the question. You obviously don't want to work on the issue. You'd rather deny there is a problem.

      So maybe all you wanted to hear was - Oh you're so pretty, they are all intimidated by you, and they know they're not good enough for you, so they can't deal with a second date. You're clearly too good for them, and they can't deal with it.

      Does that answer make you happy now?

    • no, I am shy I just don't think I'm "chronically" shy. That would mean I wouldn't talk to them, unless they say something first, which is not true. I start conversations, I'm interested in what they have to say ect... it's not like I just sit there and nod or shake my head as they talk to me.

What Girls Said 1

  • To not be yourself is to ruin yourself. If you're picky then you're picky!