Guy is definitely interested...but things are moving along very slowly?

So there is this guy I have known for a little over a year. I work as a bartender and he works at the restaurant next door, and stops in after work with coworkers regularly. When I met him I thought he was cute but quickly found out he had a girlfriend. Well in the last few months he broke up with his girlfriend. And for awhile there was just friendly flirting between us. I had kind of put him in a "friend-type zone" because of the girlfriend and really didn't think he was interested in me that way. Until I decided to try and set him up with a friend of mine. After having him pepper into one of our conversations more than a couple times some variation of "maybe I should forget about your friend and we should date" and having him go out of his way to touch me from across the bar, it finally clicked.

Since then we've been hanging out. However, he only invites me to group things. Usually get-togethers at his house, or hanging at a bar with a group. The group is his circle though, so I've met a lot of his friends and he has no problem being affectionate with me around them.

Since we've been hanging out, he has been acting progressively more interested. Showing me more attention, being flirty, walking me out to my car and holding my hand. Even little things like the way he hugs me, have gone from friendly quick hugs, to long close big ones.

However, he's made no attempt to kiss me. And he really doesn't text me unless he has something to invite me to. And hasn't made the effort to take me on an actual date.

Again though on the flip side, he says the sweet things to me, seems genuinely interested in what I have to say, always has me text him when I'm home says cute things once I do. He's always excited to see me and when I can't come to hang out with him, he does seem disappointed.

This isn't something I'm used to with guys, if anything girls usually have the opposite problem. Shyness is definitely not an issue with this guy, he's one of the most confident guys I know (one of the reasons I was attracted to him in the first place)

As a girl you're taught that if a guy doesn't put any kind of moves on you and doesn't set up a date he's "not that into you." But he definitely seems interested and things are progressing...just much slower than I'm used to. (not like I want to jump into bed with him, but I sure wouldn't mind making out with him a little, lol)

So my question is what is the reason for the slow play? And what can I do to keep things progressing and maybe speed them up just a tad?

(while still presenting myself as a lady, and not "chasing" him too much Because I do feel like that's how guys lose interest)

So m


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  • Maybe he's not ready for anything more but then again you should push him a little.