Why do people scapegoat the entire gender instead of learning to choose "better" guys / girls in "dating"?


*define "better" in your own terms.

"dating" refers to going steady, as well as sexuality and all the emotions involved with said above.


"it's not guys/girls, it's the ones you are choosing, and yes I said CHOOSING."

I have said the above (in some way) on countless questions since I've been on this site.

Some people have a hard time understanding that an entire gender isn't doing the same actions, the people that the person in question CHOOSES TO BE INVOLVED WITH, are the same.

Therefore, it's logical to figure out how to make better choices by figuring out the common threads between the previous bad choices, then learn to make better ones by knowing what traits / locations / scenarios NOT to look for when it comes to "dating".

But instead of doing that to fix the problem, we've seen people say things (especially on this site) such as:

*i'm getting discouraged by guys / girls*

*guys / girls are getting on my nerves*

*guys / girls are all the same*


...and other sweeping generalizations about the gender.

To make things even worse, the mentality behind these statements give off "bad vibes" from the person saying these things to people, WORSENING their dating situations by their negativity. :-X


So, why do you think that some people (including yourself) would rather scorn an entire gender, instead of taking responsibility for making bad "dating" choices and work to make better ones?

Please vote and reply as much as you like. Thanks for answering. :)

  • I've fallen into this "scapegoating the gender" mentality at least once
    Vote A
  • I can honestly say that I've never done that before
    Vote B
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
I'm a GirlI'm a Guy


Most Helpful Guy

  • Because it's easier to blame one's own problems on other people so as to avoid taking responsibility for themselves. I've told countless girl friends the guy they were involved with was a d-bag or loser and let them just know what I thought and every time I've been proven right.

    Too many people want the "coolest" person but don't realize it comes with it's own baggage and it always ends the same. It's like they can't see past week when it comes to value in a relationship, they're just having fun


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 5

  • I notice this behavior all the time on GAG, and I am proud to say I have never once participated in it. I think some people would rather place the blame for their dissatisfaction on the other gender rather then on themselves. It's easier, I suppose. But it produces prejudice and resentment, which ultimately takes you farther away from your goal.

  • I agree and I think you should turn this into an article that will help guide people in how to stop themselves from doing it =)

    • I picked A by mistake on the poll, I meant to click B. I've done my fair share of choosing the wrong guys before, but I've never thought that the whole gender was like them.

    • That sounds like a good idea! :)

  • True. Good point.

  • because you meet guys like that and they're not even guys that you choose. I don't have to date a guy to know he's an a**hole, so its not like I chose him I can just recognize those traits are in abundance. all men are not like that but many many of them are. I'm not gonna lie and say guys aren't like that just because 5-10% of decent guys exist

    • Yes, you can run into that person outside of your control.

      But giving your contact info, and continuing to talk to the person after the 1st meeting...that IS a choice.

      U can't help who you run into in life. :)

    • Some people hide their traits better than others. But say if I don't give them my contact info, they're still jerk guys that exist in the world...see what I'm saying? So even if I don't date them they're still guys who are part of the male gender who contribute to the stereotyping. I rarely give my # out anyway so think of all the jerks that have tried and failed. that's a lot of jerks and men wonder why we think so many guys are like that. BECAUSE THEY ARE!

  • Sometimes I'll just say stuff generalizing all males but I know not all of them are the same.


What Guys Said 3

  • I sometimes use the analogy that if you assumed the phone calls you got were representative of who was out there, you would conclude that most people must be telemarketers.

    Good looking, sociable, single people ... are not a random subset of the opposite gender.

  • I don't claim ALL women are something tbh, even though I know my lazy writing seems to come off that way at times. But a lot of the gender does have things in common and when even science backs it up, I'm gonna say that the "stereotype" is justified.

  • I have at times "played victim" but most times I have taken any blame for any failed relationships as nobody put a gun to my head to chooses that person. To constantly blame one gender for ones problems is moronic and shows that the common denominator is always you.

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