Thought I fell in love. Thought she did too. Now, she's not sure. What am I supposed to do?

I met this girl online. We have only corresponded via email, chat, and video chat on Skype. I'm 31, never been married, no kids, never had a truly serious relationship, and I have never felt this way about anyone in my entire life. She is separated with a 4-year old kid and is in the middle of a divorce. She expressed the same feelings toward me about a week ago. We didn't get to talk this weekend on chat or video chat on Skype, but she sent me an email yesterday that said that because of me, her life has new meaning and she is much happier than she was before. And then she said, that she may "get weak" and go back to her husband, but she doesn't know. What the eff am I supposed to do now? Should I write back and ask her why? I'm not a home-wrecker...I didn't even find out she was still married until after I fell for her and told her how I felt. She's telling me she has deep feelings for me but that she thinks she may go back to her husband. I think if she did, I would be happy for her, because if it made her happy then it would make me happy for her. Obviously, I would also be depressed as hell and never forget her, but at the same time I'd be happy for her. What do you think I should say in my reply email?


I re-read her email. It said "Previously" she thought she could get weak and go back to her husband. The Russian/English barrier is sometimes a little hard to understand, especially when she sometimes writes in Russian (and sometimes English) and all I have to go on is Google Translate. But thanks for all the answers.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I know I'm just a 16 year old girl but ... I've been through many things in my life that someone my age shouldn't have to go through. She is going through a divorce, her thoughts are maybe jumbled around and she just isn't set on one answer. It's great she said that of you, yes. Maybe she is not fully ready (saying she may go back to him) because she was in a bad marriage (I'm just guessing) and she hasn't collected her full trust (we all have those thoughts in the back of our mind). Don't ask her why, just tell her how you feel about it and just try to understand where she is standing. You may be the one for her, but she has to pass this moment first. "What do you think I should say in my reply email?" <<< Tell her from the heart, not what others give you to say. Or it wouldn't be coming from you. Hope this helped ? ~MizzB~

    • Thanks MizzB. Sure, experience in relationships come with age. I didn't choose your answer as the best answer because it was what I wanted to hear. I really did want everyone to be honest. But I told her how I felt and she told me her ex-husband is no longer a part of her life. I guess since they married they have separated several times. This last time, she said she was through with him. And I guess he feels the same way because he's a pr*ck.

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What Girls Said 1

  • I think that happens sometimes in some marriages, they have a big fight and they start thinking of divorce or separating, but it just happens at the moment, you shouldn't talk to married women, go out, have a life and enjoy it! or meet girls online and make sure they are single!

    Forget about her, just ask if she is OK, but nothing more.

    I have a couple of friends who tried the same after fighting with their husbands, they tried to find men somewhere else but they'd always got back to them.


What Guys Said 2

  • She's separated? As in still legally married? That's not good; even if she were completely divorced from her husband, she has emotional wounds that need time to heal. If she's only in the separation phase, that's WAY too early. You're wasting your time with her; if you're looking for long-term commitment, you won't find it with her. She even told you outright that she could go either way with you -- not exactly a ringing endorsement. Save your valuable time for a woman who is actually available AND interested in you.

    I wouldn't even bother with a reply e-mail.

  • Well if you feel she's way to unstable to make a pure decision that she'll stick with then Its best you shouldn't waste both of your time.