My boyfriend told me to get a boy toy !?

My boyfriend is a type who doesn't like to party, but I like to go out and dance sometimes. All the time I try to get him to a night club with me, he would refuse, and that would upset me. Yesterday while we were just drinking in a bar (because I couldn't convince him to go to a night club), he said I should get a boy toy for partying and dancing. Should I really? Did he really mean it or just being sarcastic?


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What Guys Said 1

  • Wow. No offense, but your boyfriend pisses me off. I'm not a party guy by any means, parties and clubs aren't my thing, but I like to dance and I think its really sexy that women love dancing too. If I'm in a relationship with a girl that I really like, and she wants to go to a nightclub to dance, lets go. You two have obvisouly gotten far enough to the point where each of you knows what you like and don't like, its now time for a little sacrifice and change, especially on his part. And to tell you to get another guy to go partying and dancing with? He might as well have told you to go cheat on him. Now if you two are polar opposites, he's more of a quieter, homebody kind of guy and you're wild hitting the bars and clubs several times a week, I want to say its best you two split. I've dated many wild party girls and it never works. If that is just something you like to do once a week on a Friday or Saturday night, he needs to man up and realize his girl wants to go do something she really likes, and he needs to take you. I can't tell if he was being sarcastic or not, if he said it with a serious tone or face, he could have said it out of frustration. I hope this helps, anythng else, ask away!

    • I don't go out a lot at all. It's been at least 2 months since I last went to a nigh club. We were on a trip to the beach actually. That's why I was so upset. It was supposed to be fun and wild. He said he didn't want to dance just the two of us because when he got tired, he would want to sit, then I would have to sit and I would get bored and eventually we both would get bored. Okay I know that I tend to be more energetic than him. I don't know what to do here.

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    • I see. Well, first off STOP comparing yourself to his ex, you two are completely different people. Second, your boyfriend should be very greatful that you are that giving, I don't see why he wouldn't want to hold your hand and get close to you even when you're out. That said, some people just aren't comfortable with any physicallity outside the bedroom, but still, its just holding hands. A relationship is about compromise and he doesn't seem to want to accomodate things for you. More importantly,

    • a relationship is about SHOWING each other how much you love one another. It seems like you're trying to do that as much as you can, but he isn't, you have every right to want to be held and kissed by him. I know I love it when the girl I'm with shows me how much she loves me. I'm not saying to break up, but keep in mind, if you feel like your needs aren't being met with him or you're not being loved/appreciated perhaps its time to talk with him about it or move on.

What Girls Said 1

  • Well, we don't know your boyfriend or how he said it, so we can't really say whether he really meant it or was just being sarcastic. If this is something you're considering, you should definitely talk to him about it again to be sure he meant it.

    People have various reasons for not liking the club scene, for some, it causes them anxiety or makes them feel very uncomfortable. For others, they just think it's lame. If your boyfriend doesn't like them for the former reason, it's possible that he may feel like he's unable to meet your needs/be the person you want him to be, and his frustration would probably be compounded by you acting upset about him not wanting to go---so he reacts with sarcasm.

    Other guys can be quite relaxed about these things, thinking "Well, I don't like going, so you should go have fun with someone who likes clubs."

    Did he sound sarcastic when he said it? Did he say it while he was upset?

    Anyway, if you aren't sure if he was sarcastic or not, you should definitely confirm with him that he's okay with you going with someone else, otherwise there's a good chance it could lead to problems.