I'm new at the whole trying to get a date thing

I'm 19, and I'm just starting to get into girls, (no I'm not gay) I just had a lot of other things going on, that girls just didn't interest me, in that kind of way...now that I've got my life relatively under control...i've met this girl..she goes to my school, but is not in my classes, she just randomly came up to me to ask me where her class was, I said I didn't know because of such and such, she then asked about the such and such... after a week of not seeing each other, I got to talk to her again, for the same amount of time as the first time... I just asked for her number (yesterday) and she said to call her, so my dad said I should call tonight, which I did... I got her voicemail because she didn't recognize the number, I left a short but sweet message.

i don't know what to do next, I want to ask her to a casual outing, but 1. is it too early? 2. what's a good casual date?, and 3. how do I go about asking her?

my dad suggested this coffee place around the corner from me, because on wednesdays they have open mic night, so it might be fun to just go and make fun of the performers, all while talking to each other

is it ok, for it to just be the two of us, or should I attempt to get some of mine/her friends to come, so its not as stressful?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Do you like this girl as in you want to date her and possibly become boyfriend and gf, or are you just looking for a friend? I have been playing this game for a very long time, and not once have I ever asked a girl to go get a cup of coffee with me. Personally I don't really like coffee, and I don't really fit in with the beatnik crowd. I always viewed getting coffee with someone as something friends would do. Think about it's just a beverage, you sit there and talk for a few mins and then get your drink and leave. And it's usually loud, someone is always blaring music, and it just seems like a place where people go to study or causally hang out to kill time.

    I take girls out to dinner, it's more quiet, the atmosphere is way different, it's kind of dim, sets a relaxing mood, to where you can talk to a girl one on one and get to know her a little better. You don't have to take her to a really fancy restaurant, in fact I would say don't take her to a really fancy one, it shows that your trying to hard, and you think you can win her over by spending lots of money on her. If you do that she just got herself a free meal. Now don't take her to Wendy's or anything like that but just somewhere that jeans a polo shirt are excepted, instead of a suit or a tux.

    If she calls you back then ask her if she has any plans for the weekend and if she says no then ask her to dinner. Open mic night is good if you already know the girl, it's kind of like taking a girl to a concert on a first date, you can't really talk to them it's to loud and if you wanna get to know them it's pretty hard to do, that's why I suggest dinner.


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • There's nothing wrong with a one on one date. That's what people usually do and especially since you aren't established friends and whatnot, coming on with dating intentions is totally normal. If she accepts then great, but if not, then you'll know her feelings.

    • What if it comes off a formal date to her?

    • Show All
    • Too bad for her. If she says she wants to go do fancy things then do it. But you're only getting to know her, you need to start off slow. If the casual date goes well, etc, then you can get fancier.

      If she likes you that much she wants a nice formal date then she'll be happy with just a starter date.

    • Ok, thanks for making it clearer

What Guys Said 1

  • hang out with your guy friends and tell them to bring hot girls and talk to one of them that you like. Also try being bestfeinds with a girl and ask her to bring her girl friends over so you could pull a move on one of them