I actively tell my friends to avoid women with children...

Even considering the fact I was raised by a single mom.

My stance is simple. I'm only 25, and my friends often hover around the same age. Unless they have kids themselves ( which is usually the case for ALREADY married or guys who plan to ).

I can certainly see the reasons for dating a woman, who may have a lot in common and be a great partner, but I do know it is an incredible venture to undertake and I've seen it fail too many times.

Recently I got into an argument with two women at a party ( sober party ) who had single mom friends and they blasted me as "scum".

I think there's plenty of guys in their mid 30s and older who are financially secure and will take on a young 20 year old with a kid or two.

However I also know too many young guys will be guilt ridden to stay with a girl and worse, they may only have one kid themselves and trust me, people ALWAYS prefer their OWN KIDS, so it will really never balance itself out.

Now if I end up being a single dad at 40, I'll probably actively seek a woman of similar age and with a kid. However I'm 25 and so are most of my friends in the mid 20s.

Am I bad person?


Most Helpful Girl

  • It's not really up to you to dictate that though - especially for your friends.

    I get that it's a lot of responsibility and there's it's negative aspects, but how do you think kids get step parents?

    I mean, my real father left when I was really young, and my step dad came about when he was your age, and took care of me even though I wasn't his kid. He didn't have to, he just wanted to.

    It's an iffy situation.

    Young men believe that pregnancy doesn't happen at all with sex. Delusion of being young and having birth control - so a lot of guys would typically avoid kids anyway.

    However, if your friend is alright with dating a woman with children, and he's aware of what he's getting into, I don't see how it's suddenly a terrible circumstance.

    But then again - women seem to be more inclined to taking in children instead of rejecting them whether they are biological are not. So maybe that's why I don't think helping someone raise a kid is so awful if you too are serious.

    Your not bad for looking out for your friends, just understand women see it a bit differently. All that really matters is the well being of the child - not so much whom it belongs to.

    Men are more concerned with whom it belongs to - and even then, a lot of guys still shun the responsibility.

    • I do a lot of volunteer work with kids. As in, out of my own free time. I meet many kids with single parents. That is what many guys like myself do.

      But dating a mom in your 20s...I don't want to say, it's wasted time, but it kind of is. I'm sorry but a single mom usually made her bed. I'm not saying it's always on them, but it usually is. I even know some women who tried and get a guy to stay with them by having the kid.

      So many young single moms are a little screwed up, no offense.

    • Show All
    • Some people don't like the idea of marriage. I know one couple getting married this summer, they were together for 8 and a half years before they got engaged and they set the wedding date to correspond to the 10th anniversary of their first date...

    • wow, I would go for like 4 or 5 years, 8 before marriage? That's good though, means there's definitely a strong connection

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 3

  • No it's not, but don't advertise it to the female population...

  • You didn't give a clear reason for avoiding women with children. I don't understand your question.

    • I didn't? Responsibility and guilt to stay when you want to leave.

  • It doesn't necessarily make you a bad person, but maybe a little bit hypocritical? Maybe that's not the right word.

    But then again you have a background in being around a single mom so you might have some credibility. I just think you would understand more coming from a single mom's side, but I haven't been in that situation. I do know a lot of young guys that got with mom's and they turned out more than great. It's really more of how well you know your friends and how well you trust them to make good decisions. If they are mature for their age then you can trust that they know what they will be getting into.

    • A lot of guys claim past sexual partners isn't a big deal, but when they're constantly reminded their girlfriend slept around, it becomes a problem.

      I look the same way with kids.

      My step dad had his own children, so it was different, and he wasn't in his mid 20s.

      I think guys my age may think they can handle it, but 5 years down the road it hits them, but it's too late so they appear they're fine.

What Guys Said 2

  • Nah. That seems reasonable.

  • Nope, seems like good advice to me.