How should I deal with this guy?

Hello guys I just joined this website even though I've been following it for quite some time and really would like to get some feedback about this situation. So first semester of college I had a guy in my class who at first I wasn't interested in anything more but being friends then towards the end of the year I noticed that maybe he might like me and I started liking him too. He would ask to hang out but we never got to hang out because either plans didn't follow through or we wouldn't talk. he would drunk text me late at night just to say hi I'm drunk but I didn't like that so I cut it short and told him to stop drunk texting me which eventually he did. Then we had classes together again and he would call me with the excuses to ask about the homework or something which also got me annoyed because I knew he had the homework and just couldn't understand why he couldn't be upfront about whatever it was or maybe it was just me. Anyways to cut the story short we would flirt on and off and then for the summer we wouldn't keep in touch. The following semester towards the end of it we started talking more often almost everyday, he would call me babe and send kisses or whatever but whenever it came time to hang out which he would offer in the first place and make plans, he would cancel which I didn't understand...and still don't lol. why would a guy ask to hang out make plans for dinner or something and then cancel it a day before or so. So this happened a few times until I had it with him and stopped talking to him. Two months passed until one day he texted me again it was casual and I didn't care for it. Then it was my best friends birthday who he also knows, she invited him to come to the party. That same day he texted me asking when are we hanging out? so I told him to come to the party and he said okay...later on while at the party he texted me saying maybe I should leave and meet him somewhere else, I told him no I'm not leaving and basically that was that. So I would really like some feedback from you guys about this situation, we've known each other for years now but have never hung out outside of school and also I don't understand why he makes plans and then cancels and also why he flirts with me if he has no other intentions. Maybe he just wants to sleep with me since he would ask me often times to go over his house but he knows I don't get around like that so I don't know..

thank you guys and I'm sorry for this long post ...hope to hear from you soon :)


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What Guys Said 1

  • It sounds to me like it could be that he just enjoys the flirting and the thrill of the chase, but isn't really ready for a serious relationship. Texting and flirting are really easy things to do, and don't have a lot of risk attached to them. He knows he can keep doing those things and have fun without having to go any farther.

    It could be that he just wants to sleep with you, like you suggested, and that by continuing to text you and flirt with you he's keeping that door open, hoping that eventually you break down. I know guys who play this game with lots of girls at once, trying to keep their options open.

    Another possibility might be that he really does like you, but is afraid to come out and say it or do anything about it beyond texting and flirting. He might be waiting for you to make a move.

    Either way, it sounds to me like he isn't really ready to have a real relationship with you, or at least isn't ready to treat you seriously. It sounds like the situation is making you confused and a bit uncomfortable, which isn't a good thing.

    I also wonder just how strongly you feel about him -- you mentioned that you didn't like him until you started to notice that he might like you. Is this boy someone that you feel strongly about, or do you think it's more that you like feeling liked by him?

    If you really do like him, you should try and sit down and have a serious discussion with him about how you feel, and how you don't appreciate the way he makes plans with you and always cancels them. You should let him know that he needs to take you seriously and respect you, or he'll lose your friendship. There's no reason to continue to accept the way that he's been treating you -- even as friends, it seems kind of messed up. If he really likes you, he'll change his tune after learning how it makes you feel. If he doesn't, you should forget him.

    Hope this helps -- good luck!


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