Guys mean what they say right?

So I do not get it. If a guy says that he is into you does he mean it? I had a guy say he is into me then he tells everyone we are friends but he kisses me and holds my hand in public. He pays for me. I make him dinner he comes over and we hang a lot. So does he want the benefits of the relationship but not the title? I don't understand what is going on... he told me he wants to casually date but we aren't seeing anyone else we are exclusive and yeah...idk what happened first he said he was coming over soon and we were texting he kept telling me I didn't need to make him dinner I said I don't mind I want to its what I do he told me I was too nice and he doesn't deserve it then I asked him later when he was coming over he told me he wasn't anymore and that wants space and I asked if I did something wrong and he said no its me and I told him I guess I will text him in a couple of days I don't know what I did... he told me before that we would be

This all happened last week. He told me to stop contacting him...its been two days. Then his buddy told him that its been almost a week and it's time to contact me. I texted him and he said he was avoiding me because he is not sure...then he said he would give it another chance then then the next day he said stop contacting him and so I have its been three or four days now what?

It sucks I find three guys that all did the same thing they acted like they care about me then they ditched me and not want anything to do with me. They seem like my ideal guy just so tired of it


Most Helpful Guy

  • "If a guy says that he is into you does he mean it?" Yes he means it.

    "he tells everyone we are friends but he kisses me and holds my hand in public. "

    Sounds like he was showing it too.

    "He pays for me. I make him dinner he comes over and we hang a lot."

    Again, seems obvious.

    " So does he want the benefits of the relationship but not the title?"

    He never said he wanted a relationship with you.

    " he told me he wants to casually date"

    There we go, see? That's what he wants. Not a relationship.

    When you ignore his wishes, make dinner when he says not to, AND THEN start calling him saying "When are you coming over?" you are acting like you're his wife or something.

    That's exactly what he didn't want. So he tells you to back off.

    It's becoming obvious to him that you're not capable of just dating casually. You're out for the relationship, by hook or by crook.

    Your confusion is only coming about because you don't listen to what he says. He says one thing, you hear something else.

    • Actually I forgot to mention he said he was hoping this will become something more the fourth day of knowing me and now I want him back because we had a great connection and we were good...but how do I find that kind of guy with the same connection but with out them ditching me

    • I don't believe you can get that connection back, because if he feels as if he has a right to disrespect you now, then he will always feel as if he has the right, your better off getting someone worthy of your talents,x

    • oh ok

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • This guy is playing games with your head, he wants you to break down and feel as if you have done something wrong. I am guessing that you have not been sexually intimate with this guy, if not, then that's your answer, he's finding a way into your panties by being offish towards you then being nice, its a players tool that often works, but if you have been intimate, then this guy is just a control freak and his emotions for you are limited, and when something better comes along, he pushes you to one side, but when he wants you, your there to accept his advances again, drop this bum, your talents deserve more respect than this guy,x


What Girls Said 1

  • There are a few things that could be happening here:

    1) He is not sure if he really likes you enough to make the commitment to only date you. You sound like a great person, and if this guy decides he doesn't want to make you his girlfriend and stop seeing other girls, than he is missing out big time!

    Any guy who is giving up a girl who cooks for him and treats him right, well obviously he isn't ready for a relationship. I would move on.

    2) He is just trying to toy with your emotions to make you feel powerless in this relationship and make HIM the object of desire. He wants you to do the chasing while he explores other options.

    Either way, I would say stop playing in his games and move on! You deserve a guy who wants to be with you. Don't let this guy make you and option while you are doing all this work to impress him. It's not worth it. If he can't already appreciate you, then he is never going to appreciate you.

    There are plenty of guys out there who would love to be with you and would not hesitate to make you their girlfriend. This guy is just wasting your time by trying to be a player and toy with your emotions. He could very well be a control freak, control freaks play games to wear the other person down so they feel like crap. Don't let this guy do that.

    Stop all contact, and keep yourself busy to forget about him. Go on dates with other guys, find a guy who is appreciative of all you do for him.

    I am kinda like you, I cook and stuff for the guys I date. When I was single and looking for a boyfriend, I would cook and be really good to the guys I dated. The guys who were toying me around never got a second date. And when I found a guy who appreciated me, well he scooped me up before anyone else could get to me! :) That is how it's supposed to work. You date the person who sees your value and not just wants you for sex!