Is it okay to keep messing around with this guy?

Okay so this guy and me go to the same school together and in a couple of months we're going off to college. We made it clear to each other there this is only a physical attraction between us and feelings will not get involved (I do not like this guy as anything more than just someone to flirt with and never will because we're wayy too different). We've known each other for 8 years, so he's not some stranger. One thing is that he has a girlfriend, but he isn't in love with her and doesn't plan to stay with her when they go off to college (everyone knows that he doesn't care for her like that, so why they're still together is a mystery to us all). We flirt a lot and make out from time to time. Things might lead up to sex. But the only reason I'm doing this is to gain experience for college to avoid the awkwardness of me being a virgin in college. I'm ready to take it to the next level with him.

Yes I am a virgin and I've never had a boyfriend even though there are many guys who want to get with me. I am a "one and only" kind of girl and I believe in true love, so I know this guy is not for me, but it's just fun to mess around with him. I love to flirt and have fun. I don't see why it's a bad thing. Everyone who knows me knows that I'm not the type of girl to "sleep around" (obviously cause I'm a virgin) or even make out with random guys. He's the only guy I'm messing with and we're keeping it on the low so NO ONE knows about it. It's between me and him and I trust him because he's not a blabbermouth and we've been known each other for so long and seen each other almost every day for 8 years (we've been going to the same school since 5th grade).

So I guess what I want to know is, does this make me a bad person? Does this make me a "slut" (gosh I never thought I'd be seen that way)? Should I stop? Or is it okay to have fun?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Stop and think for a second. What you are doing will cause pain to someone else, his girlfriend. I personally feel that any girl that messes around with a taken guy is well.. a slut. Don't get me wrong I know you want to have fun and mess around but there are so many other guys out there, especially in college. I don't believe you are a wrong person, asking for some advice in this website proves that. I feel like you should stop, how would you like it if soomeone was messing around with your boyfriend, and because you were so in love with him you did not see that the relationship is really not working. If you are truely, "one and only" kind of girl and I believe in true love then why are going to have sex with him? you love him? I thought you said it was only physical? Just wait, college is sooooooooooo much better.


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What Guys Said 1

  • Yes, you are being a bad person by doing this. You're being selfish and helping him f*** around on his girlfriend. He's obviously not man enough to break up with her already and you don't help the situation at all. You're both acting like gross people.


What Girls Said 1

  • the sleeping with him and making out, isn't bad. it's normal, and I've actually done the same thing. the only thing people would find the problem with is the girlfriend that this guy already has. It would be better to do this with someone who isn't already attached to someone else that way it has very little drama and you don't make any enemies if someone finds out he is cheating on his girlfriend. then again, it is your senior year, you won't be with those same people later in life, you'll make new friends and the slate is wiped clean. do it now while you have no consequences and don't worry about what other people think. make some memories, and do something wild- just be safe!

    • Thank you! Makes me feel better about the situation :)

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