My ex boyfriend is more proactive about spending time with me than my boyfriend?

I realize this post is going to make it sound like my relationship is in trouble and I don't really know what to do about that. But I do need advice on a specific situation. I am on a long distance relationship, it is very hard. My boyfriend and I live about 150 miles apart. I am still friends with my ex, which he is OK with. Lately I have felt that my boyfriend has been getting very distant and I don't know what that is about. My ex said that he was going salsa dancing with his friends (two couples) and he doesn't have anyone to go with so I said that I would check with my boyfriend to see if it's OK with him that I go. So I called my boyfriend and he didn't even give me a chance to talk, he just said "hey I can't talk right now," and something about taking his gramma somewhere so that caught me off guard and then he was like "unless it's important" but he sounded very rushed like he didn't want to have to talk to me. So I just said we can talk about it later, but he never called back so I just went with my ex.

Anyway, when we were there my ex told me that he still likes me and I asked him to take me home, and that was all that happened but for some reason I feel really guilty about it even though I know he doesn't mind us hanging out. Now my boyfriend is texting me asking what I wanted to talk about yesterday and I am definitely not telling him that my ex still likes me, that would make him needlessly jealous and I would rather not be friends with my ex than do that. But should I tell him what it was about, at the time I thought that if he doesn't have time to talk to me then he why would he care about me going somewhere with someone who broke up with me like a million years ago and I could just tell him that. There's a part of me that thinks a little jealousy isn't gonna kill him and it might make it so he doesn't take me for granted but that seems silly. If my ex boyfriend is more proactive about spending time with me than my boyfriend then I feel like maybe I should call it quits, but then that seems silly too because why would you break up with someone you're crazy about.

Anyway, I'm all mixed up and confused now and wondering if anyone could shed some light on my situation. Even though I'm probably going to do what I want anyway it would be nice to have some advice and maybe a new perspective.


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What Girls Said 1

  • He had something important to deal with, don't take it personally.

    Tell your boyfriend what you had intended to tell him - that you were going dancing / was going to ask permission.

    Stop being friends with your ex, cut contact.

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