What should I do about this guy?

Okay, so this will probably be a little long, but here goes!

This guy and were talking for a few months, and we got really close. We saw each other almost every day, and we always had a good time together. When we didn't get to see each other, we talked non-stop through text messages and stuff. He even told me one day that he was scared I was just going to leave him and find someone better, and he said that he was really falling for me.

Then, he completely stopped talking to me. No more text messages, no phone calls. Nothing. I asked him what was wrong, and he told me nothing. I didn't know what to do, so I just gave him space.

A couple of months later, he came (uninvited) to a party that me and my roommates had, and he talked to everyone about how he was sorry and wanted to win me back. After he and I had a long discussion, we decided to be friends again, but to takes things really slow.

For about a week, he was the sweet, amazing guy that I knew before. He called all the time, we hung out whenever we could, etc. But then, he cut off contact again.

I don't understand what he's thinking. Please help me figure out how to handle this!

He went back home to visit his family for a couple of days, so should I text him and ask him how home is? Or does that look too desperate?

Thanks in advance for your help!


Most Helpful Guy

  • This is a strange situation. So I'll answer this based on a hunch.

    How much do you know about this guy? You met him a few months ago, but how? Do you know his history wirth girls? Anyway, if you don't you might wanna look into it. If you do, you might wanna try to find out if its the truth. Another question is, what was your relationship status? Were you ever considered exclusive?

    The only reason I'm saying that is because the only logical reason a guy can just automatically stop talking to a girl he's "falling for" is if another girl is involved. Maybe there's another girl whose getting texts, just like you are. If so, he might just be switching back and forth between the 2 (or more) of you.

    I know that seems negative, but there is no logical reason for a guy to act this way. When we like a girl, we aren't gonna just stop liking them overnight, or over the span of a week.

    My best suggestion would be to remain friends. The way I see it, for a relationship to succeed, there has to be openness and transparency. In your case, your guys' relationship hasn't even begun yet and he's being secretive/distant from you. What makes it worse is he's done this twice. Only you know what's best for you, but my biggest piece of advice is to prevent yourself from getting hurt. As long as he's acting like this, you should be more careful of your feelings than his. Good luck.

    • We're actually neighbors, so I just kind of met him that way. and our relationship was weird... we weren't exclusive, but we weren't seeing anyone else. I think we were both a little afraid to say we were actually boyfriend and girlfriend, but everyone considered us to be. I know he has been seriously hurt before, because he told me so. He got cheated on, so it really messed with him. I think you might be right about me trying to move on... it's going to be hard, but I just can't do it anymore.

    • And thanks for all of your help! I really do appreciate your input.

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