Did I Do The Right Thing?

Long story, short as possible. Girl (sophomore) and I (senior), both in college were close last summer, almost official boyfriend and girlfriend. Agreed best to keep in touch and not do long distance.Throughout the school year, she was saying how excited she was for me to come home.

So, night I get back plan (Wednesday) plans were made by her to meet that weekend at my house Spoke to her again on Friday around 3PM. Saturday comes, she's an hour late, I defend her to my family only to find out she went to a music festival in the city. Her response: "If I have time, I'll come see you."

I warned her saying if you do my parents are pissed off. So I covered for her saying telling them she got a flat tire and would try to be here later. (don't know why I did that).

She never shows

Don't hear from her for 4 weeks.

Only responds after I reached out saying...I'd like an explanation if she was willing to talk call or text. She never calls and whenever I did she was always out and about.

Finally contacts me (text) and starts off on unrelated things. So I asked for an explanation, I specifically said, "about what happened" I assumed it was pretty unforgettable and obvious and I got a "What do you mean?"

So I responded a day later, "I'm not interested in playing games. If you wanted to see me, you would have been here. Personally, I think its better we stop talking."

No word since after intentionally bailed on me (don't believe she forgot), embarrassed me in front of my family, and didn't care enough to remember what she did.

Too harsh, harsh, fair, or right?


Most Helpful Girl

  • You might've been too harsh, or she might be a bitch. It's basically not something you can know at this time. I think you should make a choice between giving her another shot and not doing so. If you do want to give her a chance you should basically explain the situation and your actions to her. (If you can't see her I'd do it by e-mail). Ask her to response, and if she doesn't then you should just give up.

    If you don't want to give her another chance, try not to think about the possibility you've been too harsh and she might actually not understand what you were getting at.

    But hey, that's just how I'd react in this situation! Good luck

    • I didn't think of being too harsh.

      I think my fear is giving her what basically would be the 3rd or 4th shot depending on how you look at it...showing up initially, covering for her, sticking my neck out, and then potentially sticking my neck out again. I feel if it upset her, she would have said something. The fact I haven't heard anything closing in on a week now, doesn't give me much confidence.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 2

  • I think what you did was right. But I'm sorry she did that to you. Not all girls are like that so don't lose hope. Just think of it as one less girl for you to go through til you find your perfect match. I would explain to your family what happened tho. Don't let her get between y'all. Good luck!

    • Thanks for the support, and yea just kinda just took me off guard since it was so out of character. I kinda went from pissed, to oh well, to if she doesn't care I don't. But, my family and I are fine, I just wanted to keep issue between me and her, but I could only cover for a few hours so naturally she isn't a family favorite.

  • It was fair and right.

    You did your part, she was a no show. - That was awfully nice of you to cover for her like that. I don't think she deserves that.

    She's playing dumb. Let it be.

    • Thanks for opinion, definitely nice to hear opinions outside of just friends. And yea, the cover up was definitely unnecessary, I guess she had just built that trust up with me to warrant it. I figure'd keep the issue between me and her and not involve parents...but of course, only good for a few hours...now, it'd be an 8 week long tire repair...so...bit difficult to explain.

What Guys Said 1

  • Maybe a little harsh, but I would have been pissed too. I've had similar things happen to me with friends and it's infuriated, their selfishness, leaving you hanging like that. So I understand where you're coming from. I probably wouldn't have broken off contact like that, but I can understand why you did. Maybe you should give her a few days and then call back. If she's willing to talk about it, apologize for the over-reaction and maybe work it out. If not, then just forget about her and move on because she apparently doesn't care.

    • It's really mixed with fair and harsh...I agree it wasn't ideal, but I guess it was the third strike with me.

      As I said above my fear is the potental fourth shot at fixing things. And, up to a week after, if it hurt her, she would have said something. A part me feels at some point there's only so much one person can do, she's on her own. But the other part wants an explanation. I don't think this is the last I'll hear from her.