Why are some people refrain from using the term boyfriend or girlfriend when it's obvious?

You probably know what I'm talking about.

A guy and a girl are privately hanging out,has a twinkle in their eye when talking about the other person, their body language and vibes signal "more than friends "...


...but when. you ask one of them if they're dating, they'll say "why would you think that?", "were just hanging out", "I guess you can say that", etc.


*raises eyebrow*

My ? to you is...why do you think people do this, aka this "de-facto" dating, avoiding saying they're dating each other to people they know?

Use examples if you so choose. Thanks for feeding my curiosity. 8-)


Most Helpful Girl

  • Don't want to scare someone off with obvious commitment?

    And to others, it's because it's a private thing. THEY want to see where it goes before they include YOU in on it.


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What Girls Said 3

  • There could be any amount of reasons.

    - Maybe the couple don't want to announce it to the world yet because they are still getting to know each other and becoming comfortable with each other.

    - It could mean that one or both of them have been in relationships before that ended badly and they are being cautious.

    - It could mean they are ex's trying to put water under the bridge but they want to avoid their friends and family giving their reasons why they shouldn't.

    - It could be a touch of shame, maybe one of them has said they would never be caught dead with a guy/girl like that but they actually really like this person. Eg. if you've always made a big deal you hate tattoos.

    - Maybe their friends and family don't approve of the partner they've chosen.

    - Maybe the new partner is a friend's ex and they are ashamed they are going behind the person's back.. but don't want to tell incase it leads to something very good and solid.

    I'm sure there are many more reasons than this but these are just a few of the top of my head. :)

  • I guess people do that when the relationship isn't fully establish. That weird "in between friends and lovers" area.

    I had an ex do it to me and I'll never settle for cheap explanation of our status like that again. I can understand not randomly bringing up your status unless asked or lines are being crossed.

    I'm guilty of not telling people I'm in a relationship on Facebook because it seems so impersonal and bit "high school-ish". Especially when you break up, everyone and their mom now knows. Awkward questions incoming in 3...2...1...

  • I wonder this too. My boyfriend still refers to me as his "friend" when he talks to some people about me, but then the other night his friend calls and he says "I'm hanging with my girl" I couldn't tell you why people do this but as long as the relationship is good who cares right?


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