I'm so tired of first dates... ugh...

So I started talking to this girl, she's pretty, educated, in the same (medical) field as me... we agree to do a first date, we talked on the phone for a few minutes, she'd said she had been up since five that morning, and it was midnight when we were on the phone, we talked for a few minutes and I let her get off the phone so she could get some sleep. I was doing the polite thing rather than keep her up even longer, even though I wanted to talk to her more and would have talked half the night with her.

So the next day, I get, "well you didn't even want to talk with me on the phone." So I explained, look I do want to talk to you it was just midnight and you'd been up since five am, all I was trying to do was be polite and let you get some sleep so you weren't a zombie in the morning.

Apparently, my honest and sincere answer was not taken as such.

Today, I had some things I had to do, which all day long ran me later than I was hoping and left me scraping by to get to my dinner date on time, which I was, and even thirty minutes earlier than I thought I'd be. When she arrived I hugged her, we ordered dinner, and talked. Now when I'm nervous I tend to be a chatty Kathy and talk talk talk talk talk. I also don't date often. 45 minutes into our first date, she says let's go, I can't sit here anymore. We scoop up our to go boxes and she goes out to her car, puts the keys into the ignition and says "well I have 2 hours until I have to pick up my daughter, guess I'll go home."

This coming from someone who was excited to meet me for the first time in person and wanted to hang out for a few hours and have dinner.

Now here's the question... besides being nervous, which I already know I was, and being a bit too talkative, which also I already know. What the hell did I do wrong?

I kept my hands to myself (was a complete and utter gentleman) asked her questions about her and her daughter, listened to her answers, and replied back... I've NEVER had a first date go completely this horrid before.

Do women not understand that when a guy is sitting there talking to them they're interested? Do they really believe that a guy that's disgusted with them will sit there for almost an hour and talk talk talk to them? I don't get it...


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What Girls Said 1

  • Hi there, sounds like a case of the misunderstandings. I know you are fighting hard to make it but you should take a different angle and see that this is a woman that may be difficult to please. I know that men will disagree with me but honestly I think that you pretty much only have one more shot so its either you walk away and never know or you confront it and it ends anyway or it makes it better. I suggest that you call her as you if the date went well. Have normal conversation and do not bring up the date. Before the conversation ends ask her to go out again. If she declines or gives you any other response but a yes, then you need to state to her that you're not sure where things went wrong but that you are interested in getting to know her, that you felt like the first phone call was a misunderstanding because you really wanted to talk to her but you were trying to be considerate, that you enjoyed your date and wanted to stay and talk some more and that you were nervous so you apologized if you were talking too much. Ask her if she would give it another chance. What do you have to lose. Wish you the best. God bless

    • Yeah that's sort of the way it went, text messaged her afterward asking what she thought, and of course all hell broke loose. This one's done, stick a fork in it.

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    • I knew it was done when we parted company. There's not much mistaking being blamed and accused of multiple things that I didn't even do. So much drama surrounding a single first date.

      This is a woman who tells someone how they feel, for example, I got told tonight that "You didn't even want to be there"... that's funny, I agreed, and sat through a whole dinner date with you, if I didn't want to be there why didn't I get up when you arrived and say, this isn't for me...

    • Well I guess it depends on perspective. If you really did like her and think it just got started wrong then maybe this time a text would work stating that you are sorry that she felt that way but that you enjoyed her company and wanted to stay. If she wants to start over you'd be happy to do so if not it was great meeting her anyway, she seems like a good person and you wish her the best. Life goes on. Love should be simple (i.e. able to talk things out).

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