Do you really believe that some people do feel to busy to continue dating or is it just a cop out?

I was dating this guy for 6 weeks, things appeared to be going okay, then he seemed to distance himself, then disappear.

Anyway call me a fool but I owed it to myself to give it one shot, I don't want to live with regrets. So I drunk text him, he always wanted me to drunk text him and I never had, it wasn't mushy I basically just said I'd like to try again but that was up to him to, honestly I never even expected a reply.

24 hours later I woke up one. Saying 'hellllo :) nah you did nothing at all wrong, I promise. I didn't realize how much I'd be working now and it's quite a lot. I just don't have much free time at all now with work and home commitments. Sorry for being a d***k with you, it's my fault!'

Now to some extent I believe that is true, when I met him, he hadn't qualified for his job so he had the time, now he has & his work does require him going away for days sometimes or working 12hr shifts, late nights, weekends, bank holidays etc.

If that's the case, then your going to be single for the rest of your life right? I doubt it.

Do you think it's just a cop out?

or do you think sometimes people just find it easier to walk away than try because

*either they just don't feel able to cope at that point in their life

*they feel bad on the other person

or maybe for some other reason

I mean I understand his work & I've never wanted much time, I just wanted to try, but obviously he's made his decision. I don't know if to text him back and tell him this though and thank him for texting back or just keep looking forward.

Any take on the comment 'it's my fault'? I don't know what he is blaming himself for, I never did.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • I think it's more of a cop out, an excuse. That's just my first reaction. At the same time, he could be one of those people who thinks it's easier to walk away instead of trying. Many people create a whole world of problems or impossibilities in their head (they're not real), it's just over-complication. There's really not enough information here to make a conclusion, but it sounds like either way he's not worth it.

    "its my fault" probably means he feels bad, is blaming himself or something like that.


What Girls Said 1

  • Yes, some people are too busy to date. Of course, some people use it as an excuse as well. Sometimes it can be difficult to tell whether or not someone is being honest about it.

    Personally, I work 12-hour shifts, including many weekends and holidays, and I have to switch between day and night shifts. It does put a strain on my social life; often my "free time" is when other people are working or sleeping, and even when I do have time off, I'm often exhausted and less inclined to go out.

    Some people work 60+ hours a week, or have jobs that require them to take some of their work home with them. They may have other responsibilities that come first (before dating).

    It sounds like this is a new job for him. That probably means he's still adjusting to it and it may take some time for him to develop a better work-life balance. Because he's new, he might also be putting in more time/effort to impress his new employers.

    This doesn't mean the person will be single their entire life. They may learn to balance their worklife better, their workload/hours might change. they may change jobs/careers, or they may find someone who is equally as busy, or who is very accepting of the fact that they don't get to spend much time together.

    He likely said "It's my fault" because he wants you to know that you didn't do anything to cause him to lose interest. He just didn't find the time or make the effort to keep in contact.

    If you're still interested in him, text him again. Ask him if he wants to get together for coffee or something. This will tell him that you're still interested if he is. From there, give him a chance to put some effort in (make contact/ask you out). If he doesn't, you still won't know for sure if he's just too busy or if he's not interested, but then you can move on knowing that you at least gave it a shot.