Why do guys still try to date/flirt online?

We all know there are at least 10 girls for every guy on all but a few really expensive dating sites.

Sure there are urban legends about success online, but personally I've only ever known one guy who found someone online, and he had been introduced by a real time friend who had actually met the woman in question.

* Sorry, I of course meant 10 guys for every girl!

Sure,if you spend the money for the sites that monitor the ratio of girls/guys. it can work...but that's a smal minoity and you could spend the money diretly on the girl much more efficiently, no?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Desperation, but also nothing to lose.


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What Girls Said 2

  • It's usually because they can't get a girl in real life, but if they hide their face or get a good picture, they may have girls flocking to them on the internet. They thrive off of the attention. It makes them feel like a boss. lol! Personally, I think it's hilarious to see these dudes around GAG trying so hard to flirt with chicks online.

  • because they are horny.

    • funny how your the only one so far that brings sex into this is a "anonymous" girl. Statistical proof. 3 guys one girl, guys are thinking everything BUT sex. Typical of a girl to bring up the topic though.

      -Live laugh love.

What Guys Said 8

  • Just another avenue. No different than trying different bars.

    Your stat is wrong by the way. I actually read a study done by match.com I think, that said there are 4 men for every one woman on dating sites. Which makes sense because even a relatively attractive girl usually doesn't have a problem finding a BF, they don't have to search, they just look pretty and guys will come to them.

    That being said, let's do some math so I can explain half the reason I gave up on it and why online dating sucks for men. Assuming the 4/1 ratio let's assume we have 10 girls and 40 men on a dating site. But also using some assumed logical statistics. Maybe only 3 of those girls are exceptionally attractive. Now let's make it 2 for the sake of easy math. Those 2 really hot girls are the ones all those guys are going to go for. They aren't going to message the ugly 300lb fat girl who is 19 and with a kid. So that means that approximately 20 guys are messaging each of those hots girls, meaning you have a 5% chance of that girl being interested in you, and that's assuming all the men look the same. If you are a less than stellar looking guy than your odds are probably even lower, something like 2-3% chance of her replying and going on a date with you.

    Smart attractive women who use these sites know this equation and use it to their advantage. I've seen a video of a girl who was going on 7-10 dates a week, yes you heard me right, a week. Just so she could get free dinners because she was hot 100's of guys wanted to go out with her. Also, a girl in my office who is rather attractive claimed to have had near 100 messages from different guys wanting to date her. She was seeing about 5 different ones at one point in time before she settled onto one after about 6 months. I would also like to mention that the guy she settled on is a millionaire who takes her all over the world with him.

    So if you haven't figured it out yet, unless you are brad pitt, or have a million dollars, odds are you're fighting an uphill battle when it comes to online dating. Go ahead and do it if you want to spend the money, but just don't hold your breath.

    On a side note. I used online dating for about a year. I have a decent job and have been told I'm pretty attractive. I scored one date, ended up making her my GF, but then she turned out to be psycho and we broke up after about 6 weeks.

    At the very least, if your going to use a dating site, don't use sites with open searches like match. Use ones that force matches upon people and cause them to be less selective like eharmoney.

    • OK, even if it's 4 to 1, the sameprinciple applies. But why trust Match.com, they've got a vested interest in making itlook less hopeless for the guys,right?

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    • Except in most bars, it's about 1:1. In fact, often more women, in groups...

    • Bars still have primarily men. It's just more of a male pastime. Does depend on the bar or location, but I've been to bars all over the country and witness about a 2-1 ration on avg of men to women. It's still better than the ratio of online dating. But bars bring their own set of problems which is a discussion for another day.

  • I actually met the girl I'm dating now online, but in my short time there I can see why so many guys fail at it. It is extremely hard...mostly because of how many options the girls on the sites have. They get bombarded with messages from tons of guys and you really need to stand out to do well. I consider myself lucky for finding her

  • Most guys fail at online dating, because they fail at in-person dating. It works great for me, but it's just a supplement to real-life.

    I can cast a wider net by using it and seeking out more available and willing girls and wrangle more than one at a time without even doing much work.

    Like everything else online and with computers it's a plan B initiative, you still have to know the subject well enough to do it by hand, but using the computer makes it quicker and more convenient.

    Still for guys who can't meet women, online is the worst option. First of all it robs them of the requirement to get out and do the work needed to meet women and improve themselves. Second, this means that they're likely to just accept the first chick who comes along regardless of her level of unattractiveness or bitchiness.

    • I think the odds are more stacked against you in online dating, though!

  • It can work, but you better bring your A-game in terms of best pictures, a really funny profile and target the girls you really think you're compatible with. Even then, the odds are against you, but it can work. The girl I'm seeing right now I met online.

    • Yes, I believe it CAN work with ALL those provisos, plus, you offer them money!

      But hey, offering money will work ANYWHERE.!

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    • Every guy denies he offers the girl money...it's the same if you're spending a lot on her...

    • Nope, we've gone on a picnic together, made food at her place twice, gone to a couple of movies, seen a few live musicals for which she was hooked up with free tickets. Honestly, besides transportation, I haven't paid much of anything.

  • Yeaha I learned that lesson 2 years today. THE only reason I did it was becuase I got very lucky the first time.

    ONLINE GAME SUCKS! You need available girls, who only have you for an option, ONLINE IS NOT THE PLACE!

    I am so sorry lol:

    Sorry (off topic) THE reason the guys do it, is becase they are too scared to approach girls in public.

  • I know plenty of guys who've met tons of fairly attractive and successful women online.

    • I've come to realize that's mostly urban legends or just plain bragging-faking to the guys!

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    • I'm sure you're talkinga bout the elite sites that keep the ratio 1:1

    • I don't think there are ratio caps on lava life.

      The point is if you can't pick up offline online probably won't work either. If you can pick up offline, online you'll have a worse 'success' rate but you can hit on more women.

      And believe it or not the guys I know who we're successful we're getting approached online too.

      If you're getting 0 messages, your profile sucks. Women actually lookin to date (not just be flattered) DO send messages.

  • because it's easier to make yourself more attractive online then it is in real life ?

  • That really depends on how you define success. But if we are talking about finding a girlfriend or the occasional casual hook-up then you can add me to the success stories I guess.

    Yes there may be 10 times the men. But 90% of them just try the shotgun approach of copy and pasting the same test to hundreds of girls. And believe me, girls can tell. Plus, operating under the assumption that if you have infinite monkeys and infinite typewriters will eventually produce a work of Shakespeare doesn't work here. (The infinite time part really gets you).

    So, if you put real effort in it and are genuine, it can work. Because girls are looking too! Just not for someone who operates like a scammer. It's not that hard to stand out of the crowd

    • Feel free to ask if you have any questions.

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    • Yes, it CAN work, it's just the odds are against you. Most guys strike out. Sure you can say they strike out in real life too, but at least they can see the pitch, if you know what I mean!

    • Odds are always against you. And there are pros and cons. E.g. It doesn't Tahoe that much effort to meet a handful of people online. Don't even have to leave the house. It's just a very different game. Real world your success is more immediate. Online you need patience. But that's always the case. Just take your question on this forum. It can take days till people reply while in person it would be a conversation of minutes.