Why do men vanish before even actually meeting you (in an online dating scenario)

This has happened to me 4 or 5 times, before even getting to the "meet in person" phase of things. I had dates set up to meet the guy for a date, then he seemed to push away, and then vanish. (I work with teenage girls, and an all female staff, so no chance of meeting men @ work, and I'm a single mother, so I rarely go out). Online dating seemed like a good idea, but guys seem scared if you're a real person, even if they claim that is what they are looking for. I currently have a (tentative) date for this Saturday, but he suddenly started saying "nothing is set in stone." and, "things are crazy right now", but is still making meeting place suggestions, and responding to my texts, (but doesn't seem to text me first...so I haven't texted him all night in hopes that he'll initiate), even though things were going fine up until I sent him 5 texts in one night w/out him responding (oops...beer was involved, and he said not to worry about it)...We kind of live a good distance from each other, and agreed to meet half way, but I think he is getting "cold feet" due to the distance (an hour drive each way for both of us). I say that finding love is/should be an adventure (not asking for any set expectations...see how things progress naturally), and restricting your self to a certain distance is silly, but maybe that's just me? My friend says I'm too nice, and need to be a little B!@%chy, when guys start to act this way, but it is just not in my nature. I'm honest, upfront, genuine, and (maybe a little too) excited to meet someone I'm interested in. (Help)


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  • If you're honest and upfront you definitely need someone who's going to be the same way with you. They don't sound as serious as you, I guess their intentions are really not the same even though they might have told you so. I guess you just have to weed them out a lot more carefully. If a guy is flaking like that he just isn't commited enough, simple as that. If you're offering a lot - honest, upfront and genuine, there's no point waiting around for people who don't value that enough to be it themselves.