How to handle a guy who is on the rebound?

We clicked amazingly well... and it was clear something was there. But it began to feel like a rebound and he clearly won't be ready to date for awhile. I made my stance clear and cut him out of my life several months ago for him being manipulative.

I really fancy him, and would be cool even as friends, but can't have him in my life right now as he just tries to win me over only to ignore me for weeks and sometimes months at a time.

I've deleted him and all contact, but everything feels so unsettled. He's beautiful and a bit cocky, so I don't want to give in and contact him. But everyone I've dated in the last year doesn't' compare to him and my connection. I know he thinks of me sometimes.

Should I contact him and risk looking too keen? Or should I stand strong, wait it out, and hope he sorts his sh*t out and approach several months down the line? I told him to stop texting me so I doubt he'll make first contact anytime soon.


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What Guys Said 2

  • DON'T contact him. It will only boast his ego. I know you feel this strong connection, and it can drive you insane not being with someone like that. I've had this happen to me before, and we haven't spoken in two years. It's only a waste of time, and it doesn't get better. I know I sound negative, but I don't want to see someone being tortured over this. Besides, he may become totally unappealing after awhile. You may find yourself feeling blessed because you aren't with him.

    • But I also don't want to spend forever wondering "what if"? Since I cut him out through text and deleted him off Facebook... I'd be OK just being friends rather than nothing. But I don't want to look overly keen by running back to him. I haven't talked to him in six months, and haven't seen him in nearly 8-9. Do you really think that it's a horrible idea? I really miss kissing him and talking to him a lot right now :(

    • I guess you could try being friends. Don't get really physical with him though. That will keep you too attached to him.

  • guys recover fast. nothing special about it. go for him as any other guy you would be interested in. why waste "several months" (your estimate). guys do not take that long. unless they are sorry basket cases which you would not want anyway.

    • it's the first time he's been single in years so he's playing the field. I want to be friends with him at least, but doesn't it look bad to contact him after I deleted him off Facebook and cut him out of my life? I don't know what to do :(

    • but you had trouble before so not sure why you do not move on.

    • because I think it's an issue of timing moreso than character.

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