I've been talking to this 22 year old for a month now (I'm 20)...

I've been talking to a guy I met through my friend (who lives an hour away) for about a month now. He's 22, a psych major, lives on his own. Everything is great on paper. We click and have a great time whenever we hang out. The first night we officially hung out, it was with all of his friends, who are like his family because he's not close to his own family (much like me, which is a fact we bonded over when we first met). Anyway, this guy gives me so many mixed signals. Our first phone convo, which was 2 hrs long, he insisted without being prompted that he wasn't into games because he was too old for them. He also told me upfront that he was talking to another girl previously and didn't intend to just cut it off since we just met, but that if he saw something good was coming from us that he would cut it off. He told the girl about me the next day and basically said the same thing to her which I respected because he was honest. This surprised the mutual friend we met through when I told her because she was impressed that he told me that...she knew about the girl but thought it was early to even find a reason to mention that. A few days later he also told me that he decided to cut it off with her because he realized I was more what he wanted. So we go back and forth like this for some time, I spent a weekend at his apartment with him and his friends. The fact that I could kick it with his friends and also vibe with him meant a lot to him, and his friends basically approved of me which he also said meant a lot. The thing is, I don't know if I can trust this guy. He says he doesn't want to be in a relationship officially yet because I not only live an hour away right now, but I also go to school up north (and I'm on summer break now) and he worries I'll go back (even though I may be transferring to a school in his city). He says he doesn't want to commit while we're in the stage that I don't know if I am or not. At this stage, I understand since it's only been a month but he also said we don't need to be exclusive yet either, but he wants us to be honest with each other if we do anything with other people for "safety." I get that, but I don't know how he feels about me because he says he cares for me, has said I mean a lot to him (which is a big thing to say in my opinion), and that he wants me to be his girlfriend eventually, like that's his "goal" but yet he acts so different when we're not together physically which makes me have trust issues. He's gone to a party with me and stuck by me the whole time even though he didn't have to, and he told me it was because he wanted me to see he's interested in me so he's SHOWING me and not just telling me, but I'm just not sure what to think. Is he playing a game with me? Guys, what does this kind of behavior mean? He's a psych major, he's gotta know mental tricks lol

I forgot to mention that he works at a psych firm interning, and he took me to the beach one night (same night of the party actually) just to talk, and we passed by some hotels and he mentioned a work retreat coming up where they would be staying in hotels for three days. He invited me (this was after knowing each other for like 2 1/2 weeks) because he would need a partner for team building and coworkers were bringing their wives and stuff. This was even more confusing to the situation!
Last thing - that same night of the beach though, he told me that I shouldn't expect to hear "the words" of him asking me out anytime soon because he wants to make sure I'm right which I also get, but I feel like he's dragging this out for someone who is so interested in me. He's yet to take me on a formal date and says he doesn't want me to feel like I'm just some "slam piece" (a way with words, I know) but yet he's not really making big moves in the relationship dept...


Most Helpful Guy

  • He's basically telling you that he doesn't want to be in a long distance relationship and that his committing to you is based on the proximity between you two. He likely hasn't taken you out yet because he wants to avoid his feelings growing stronger for you until he's sure of your position. I think he's on the up and up.


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What Guys Said 1

  • I think he's being for real. He's not making sh*t up.

    The logistics are probably the deal breaker. He wants a relationship with you, but the distance sucks.


What Girls Said 1

  • jah know star that why you don't get no answer this this is too damn long