How do I find out if he just wants me in bed and not a proper relationship?

I have known this younger lad for 2 years but we stopped talking because he was too sex-obsessed but we started talking again over Facebook over the past few days. We have both left school and are doing our own thing (he is now 16- about to turn 17 and I am 18- about to turn 19) We have started talking again and he wants me to go to his house and 'chill' and 'catch up' but he has made me promise that if I do, that he gets a hug.

He has also mentioned that he wants to fulfill his dreams that he has had of me (all being sexual) but he doesn't know if I will want to do them.

Problem is that I don't want to be messed around, I want a real relationship with honesty and trust. And I definitely don't want to be his sex thing, I Haven't been intimate with a man in three years because I wanted to focus on my education before I got distracted by a relationship.

How do I know/find out if he just wants me in bed?

p.s he calls me his 'goddess' all the time over text and Facebook

Thank you!


Most Helpful Girl

  • sounds like he wants sex, at least at this point and time. I've been in this situation fore and yes it is hard to tell, the only advice I can think of to give you is to either tell him you're not comfortable going to his house until you get to know him better, maybe you could go to a movie or eat or something? Or, if you do decide to go to his house, then go over there- if he tried anything funny tell him "I thought you just wanted to hang out?" It will put him on the spot and make him think about things. Then do just that- hang out for a little while, if he wants a hug, go ahead and give it to him, but only a hug. Let him think about that hug until you get to know him better.

    • That is such a good idea, I shall indeed do that! Thank you! :D

    • thanks for the ba and good luck!

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  • If you want a real, adult, serious relationship then a teenage guy two years younger than you is probably not the ideal guy. In my eyes he'd still be a boy, not a man. He probably only wants to meet up to fulfil his sexual desires. If a man is serious, generally they won't mention anything sexual until you're dating. Find yourself a guy 2-3 years older than you if you want a serious relationship, his maturity level will most likely be closer to yours.