HELP ME...I really like him...

I apologize for this being long, but want you to have the full story, so you can give me some advice. So I have a crush on this guy (We will call him Guy A). I have known him for over a year. Originally when I first met him, I had recently become single and he worked in a bar. At that time…I had a crush on a guy who also worked in the same bar (We will call him Guy B). Since I was newly single, I wasn’t looking for a relationship and started a “friends with benefits” type thing with Guy B. It lasted about 6 months…and we let it die. In that time, I got to know Guy A, hung out from time to time, had great conversation, and became friends. I started noticing that Guy A would come to places that I had checked into on Facebook, and we would sit and talk all night. I felt as if he was kind of starting to like me. The more this went on, the more he started commenting on things on Facebook, talking to me when I was in his bar, coming to places I had checked in, etc. So my crush developed. I kept thinking to myself though, if he liked me he would ask me out (I am a firm believer in the “He’s just not that into you” theory)! My friends however would say, he may be shy, he may fear being rejected, blah blah blah. So in a lot of our conversations he had been going on and on about this restaurant that I had never tried, so one night I subtly decided to say…”We should go there, I would like to try it!” So we set a date. Well he wrote me the evening before, and said he couldn’t make it, because he had something come up with work, and that he would like to reschedule. I told him it was no biggie and to let me know another time that worked for him. However, he never made an attempt to reschedule. Which I figured, his door was open, and he didn’t take the chance. So let it go, continued hanging out with him…he would still just show up at places I would check into, talked to me more on Facebook, started texting with me, etc. Then one night a friend of mine said that after work, he was talking with his friends, showing them pics of him and me and saying things like “don’t we look good together?” Again, super confusing. So with a lot of convincing from friends and a decent amount of liquid courage (alcohol). I text him and said “Why aren’t you asking me out?!?!” He replied with “I don’t know, why aren’t you asking me out…lol” I said “Maybe I just did?” He said “Done, we’ll go have fun. Let’s figure out a time later in the week when I am not so busy.” I replied with “Sounds good!”

At this point I feel the ball is in his court. Since then he talks to me almost daily on Facebook. Again, showed up last week to where I was checked in (which was after I asked him out) continues to flirt, talk to me, be sweet. I am so confused. You would think if he wasn’t interested that he would back off. But if he is, why isn’t he asking me out…or setting a date. Granted he is very busy. Owns two companies and works security in a bar on weekends. But still I would think if he has time to come places I am to hang out with me, why not ask me out so we can be one on one?

CONTINUED: I hang out with all guys…so I know he isn’t coming to places I am because he is digging on a friend or something. I am to the point where I am ready to give up…because I feel I have opened the door now numerous times. Yet he isn’t doing anything. What are your thoughts? Thank you in advance for your advice and reading this long story. ?


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Sounds like he's leading you on!

    Or! He can only express himself by going on line.

    Or! The only time he has is by talking to you online/text.

    Ask him?

    If you can find the time online?

    What about going out at that time?

    But! There is that problem!

    What if and him were out?

    Then what?

    He gets a call/text?


    What are you going to do?

    • We hang out in person at least once a week. But he just shows up to places that I have checked in. I don't sounds silly, I know. You would think that I have opened enough doors now for him to do ask if he wanted to. I don't think he is leading me on...only because of the fact that he isn't gaining anything. We don't have a physical relationship at all...and so he is getting nothing out of leading me on, we have been friends for a it isn't like that is going anywhere

What Girls Said 1

  • Hmm...this sounds like a really weird situation to be in, considering you already know that he likes you yet he isn't doing anything about it which I can only imagine how annoying that would be. I doubt he's really shy or anything if he shows up all the time where you are. You should either try to set him straight...(unless you've already tried doing that) or just be honest with him & let it go because you deserve to have someone who wants to fight for you, he doesn't really seem like he's sending out any signals.