How do I become the "Girlfriend" instead of the "Guyfriend"?

Ive been in and out of relationships like crazy!

It feels like every time I even try getting close to a guy they shove me even further away.

I mean its obvious that I'm not the prettiest girl in the world but I have good qualities too! and it hurts me to know that All I'll ever be is ONE OF THE GUYS...

I just want to be seen as the girl someone is interested in for once.

Does anyone else have this problem? OR have a solution to this problem?


Most Helpful Guy

  • I don't know you so it's impossible to KNOW what's happening when you meet these guys, but I can take an educated guess?

    Is it possible that you're being desperate or needy? I ask because that's a typical reason guys push girls away...

    I'll tell you why.

    Guys LIKE having girlfriends... we love it! We like connecting and sharing and being loved. We like being pampered and cared for... and we like the intimacy that brings.

    But what we don't like is a girl who's needy or desperate.

    When a girl acts needy she becomes a burden. She requires endless approval and reassurance and this is tiresome and gross.

    The best type of girl is independent and strong and happy and emotionally healthy. She brings energy and fun and love to a relationship. She is FUN to be around.

    A needy or insecure girl is the opposite of fun. She is an energy drain. She calls too often, asks the same questions over and over again, lacks trust, and is an emotional vampire... it's exhausting.

    Try to realize that men are attracted to ENERGY, not just superficial looks and appearance.

    Assuming your hygiene is good I'd recommend focusing on YOU. If you're lonely, reconnect with family and close friends. If you're insecure talk to an older female mentor and get solid inner game advice. Learn how to LOVE yourself so fully that you don't seek attention and approval from anyone except yourself.

    That way, when you're finally whole and happy you express the "right" type of attractive and fun energy that guys LOVE to be around.

    What attracts a guy the most is personality.

    If you're seeking a relationship to feel full or fulfilled then you're doing it wrong. Relationships aren't for TAKING, they're for giving.

    And once you're compete and happy and ready to share and give you'll find it EASY to catch and keep a guy... at least in my opinion.

    Take the time, you're worth it!

    ~ Robby

    My Blog ( link )

    • Robby: I appriciate the feed back and that did kind of open my eyes a little bit :)

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What Guys Said 3

  • Dear Oogie, 1) you are young so I would not worry too much about it. 2) Look at your wardrobe, makeup,hair and ask yourself is it where you want it to be. 3) Be a little girlie once in a while and do things like smile and flirt. 4) Don't be so anxious -- guys like it when there is a little bit of a challenge.

  • my only guess is act like a girl to help fit that part in there head. but at your age guys won't think about you as a girl until your like 18 or 20. so don't rush into it. it has nothing to do with looks. its all about traits. and to most guys you probably come off as a friend cause you are so friendly. learn to develop a women's attitude and the rest will come but you got plenty of time:)

  • Do not give too much too soon. Hold back a little bit more and make a guy prove himself and make a guy prove he cares about you

    • Anon: That's the problem though guys just don't even bother giving me the time of day, and if they don't even give me that then there's nothing for them t prove except that Their Not Interested. If they do end up attractid to me most of the time all their interested in is using me (thats about when I shut down and erase myself from their life)

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