How do I get through that thick skull of his = )

We both understand that a strong relationship takes work. However I feel that sometimes I get about 85% of that workload. To him he could just exist in our union. He helps out when he can and is loving a lot of the time. But I feel he ignores some of my umm, requests I guess you'd say.

These request are not demands. I try to talk to him (in a non naggy way =), show him, and be patient with him. Yet still, in one ear out the other.

Ie; sex. I initiate it, spice it up, offer him "stuff" without expecting "stuff" in return all the time! I tried explaining to him that I do this because I still desire him (after 3 years) and want to share that desire with him. Etc...still he sticks to his routine.

Now that is just an example, there are many others. My question is, how do I get him to come through for us? The gentle coaxing is not working. The straight forward requests are not working. Any advice is appreciated!


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  • With the sex: Ask him what turns him on.

    If he likes it rough and if he likes pain you may have to apply that to other things and torture him. If he is not as horny as you are or if he is not that into you sexually you might want to consider finding another dude.

    • Thank you for your response! I have asked him. "What are your fantasies, what gets ya goin" his reply. "I don't have any" he won't talk about sex. For such an outgoing guy, he's very locked up about that info! Must be freaky, which is my middle name, haha. I'm actually debating your suggestion and not just cause of the sex. That'd obviously be a last resort.