Can you love someone without even wanting to date them?

Me and a girl started talking and ended up in the I love you situation and told me she loved me and that I didn't have to say it unless I meant it too. I told her I loved her too but weeks later after we have been together she made a big deal about how we weren't dating when I put that I was in a relationship on Facebook. She said she wasn't certain about how she felt. I am pro confused because I thought dating usually came before love and running off to texas.

Also I'm pretty sure she doesn't mean it as just friends. I mean we are doing all the things a couple would do and aside from us both living with parents we would be having sex every five minutes. We are both still in college but were planning on moving away together and we have talked about wanting kids and everything. She wants it all short of us actually calling it a relationship.


Most Helpful Girl

  • yeah. love can be an act, but also just a feeling. its very possible to have feelings for someone without having a plan, aim, intention, expectation, etc, towards being with them. I was ion love for 3 years, before I was ready to actually be 'with' him. were together now, but it took a lot of work getting comfortable with being together-for me.

    i noticed, someone said no, because its a bad idea.

    i don't think its a question, of good or bad idea. it can happen, that's all.

    her being unsure of her feelings, is not someone who is in love, but doesn't want to date. she may just not be clear about herself.

    i was definitely 100% in love, no question. I equally, did not want to date.

    i don't think uve got much choice, but to talk to her... about what you guys should do.


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 2

  • Maybe she is scared of getting hurt? I honestly think you've got a strange backwards situation going on so my opinion probably won't be what's actually going on. But the only answer I can see is if something is bothering her or worrying her. Maybe she is scared of the commitment and thinks she may end up hurt? Does she have a track record of bad relationships?

    • Neither of us have great relationship records but I her issue is that we have very different plans for the future.

  • Yeah you can. I'm not gay, but I love my best friend.


What Guys Said 1

  • Sounds like she's talking about loving you as a friend.

    To answer your question, in a dating sense no, I don't think people can love without dating. It's backwards and doomed to fail.