If he says we have great communication, then why does he get offended when I ask him if he's cheating on me?

I've been with my boyfriend for almost 4 years, in September. Great guy, hard working, smart (but obviously not slick enough), and kind. We met online, then a few months later we met in person. We flew for the next two years back & forth. Then about two years ago, I moved to be with him. We were always in constant communication, due to the fact that we lived thousands of miles away. So, we were always on the phone, talking it up, about our day, thoughts, ideas, everything. Anyway, you get the point. We were in constant communication. Meaning, I know where he (supposedly) was at - vice versa or who he was with (allegedly), etc.

Before moving in with him, I had a physical injury where I've been traveling a few months at a time to get therapy for. So, I am most of time out of the state meeting my doctor appointments (& due to the insurance I cannot transfer doctors) until I get this cleared with surgery...which will be done in December. So, sometime in February 2013 I can finally be with him for good, without needing to travel to see my doctor, finally staying at home with him. Anyway...

One night he came home late from drinking and hanging out with co-workers. It's no big deal to me. He literally works in a stressful job and I am fine with him hanging out with friends and drinking it up. Just that this time around, he didn't even tell me that he was going to come home late and mind you, he calls me several hours later, whenever he's on his way home, saying that we need to talk about us. He gets home and tells me that this time when I go back home, to not think much about him, and for me to concentrate on my health and in getting better. To me it felt like bullsh*t. Like he was trying to tell me that he wanted to be single and f*** around. I didn't say anything at all. Told him I understood what he meant and calmly asked him if it was due to him wanting to do his thing and not feel guilty about cheating? He calmly said, "No way. You know I am always busy with work and rather be left alone. I just want you to not worry about me, but get better...so we can be together."

Umm... WTF? lol At this point I don't ask more because I feel like he's drunk enough to not make sense so I try to let it slide until he ends up falling asleep with iphone in hand. I feel bad cause he's all dressed up so while I am trying to make him sleep comfortably, a text message pops up, & I know that I am not suppose to read it at all. BUT what do I do? I go there! Once you go in to your boyfriend's text messages, trust me, there's no way to unsee what you're about to read for yourself. LOL

Two different girls, two different mushy feelings of, "I miss you" AND "You need to spend a weekend with me." - Yes, I am feeling hurt. Yes, my heart seems to be breaking, but I hurt myself by digging deeper in to Facebook & seeing him wanting to communicate with an ex-gf, a girl that lost weight & liked him when she was fat, & apparently a girl that has come around OUR place!

What now?!


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  • GIRL! oh I'm mad for you right now. is he REALLY 'the one' to you? like do you see yourself spending the rest of your life with him? if not , pleeease dumb his dumb ass! I think you should get even, like come back home with a hickey on your neck so he's looking like wtf. then when he starts accusing you, you come at him with the texts and Facebook.


    • I do want to get back at him, but in a real good way, you know what I'm saying? No worries. I did print screened the text messages & emailed them to me & made sure I deleted the sent messages too. I understand that I am putting a lot of energy in to his lies when all I should just get up & leave, but honestly... I am so hurt right now cause I honestly did not expect this kind of bullsh*t from him. smdh I might just use those text messages whenever he starts accusing me of sh*t. Trust me!

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    • Yes, I have been acting like nothing is wrong. Acting like I am over it, which he is not stupid (allegedly), he knows that my thoughts are still not clear. He probably thinks that I am some dumb broad that is going to let him get away with things just because I love him. I want him to believe that he is right and that I can't live without his love. lol In the meanwhile, I am going to let him pay for a couple of my bills. -.-

    • yeah, do that. I'm sorry girl, just stay strong. and remember, he don't deserve you !