How bad did this look? Did I screw up?

Ok, this might be a bit long and possibly frivolous..anyway, here's some background :) ... I met this chick ("Mary") through work back in October... she had a boyfriend so I thought nothing of it and forgot about her.

January rolls around and I happen to run into her on the street, she went out of her way to walk with me an extra block just to continue talking. Interesting. Briefly chatted here and there at work, got to know each other a bit.

In early February I ask one of her co-workers/ guy friend (call him Tom) about her, it turned out she "recently" (dont know how recent) split up with her boyfriend. She also wasn't looking to date anyone or have a boyfriend, just wanted to "hang out."

After she found out I had been asking about her her interest level rose a lot, but she was still guarded/ didn't want to jump into anything or come on too strong.

Anyway, I start to really like her, no strong emotions or anything, I just started to like her more than just some chick I had a mild interest in. Knowing she had just split with her ex I didn't want to be pushy, and I also wasn't too sure I even wanted to get involved with anyone once that became a real possibility. I kept my distance a bit and didn't ask her out, and she understood. She still wanted to see me eventually.

Anyway, fast forward to early June, I was having a rather stressful week so I asked a girl friend ("Tracy") of mine to hang out, watch an animated film with me, we talked about our issues/concerns, etc...supportive friend stuff. Tracy happened to have hooked up with Tom and they talked a lot, know each other well. Tom knows that Tracy happens to be a nympho/ borderline sex addict if not a full blown one (dont laugh -.- ).

So now the problem...on the day Tracy and I had our movie night, she met up with me at my work and before we left she had to stop by briefly where Tom and Mary work. We walk in together, she does her thing, we say hi to a few of the employees there (who all know each other and talk) and leave.

The next day, I found out Mary called in sick really unexpectedly and left management short-staffed for the day. Next thing I know, Mary appears to be avoiding me/ not making any effort to talk anymore. I figured her coworkers told her they saw me with Tracy aka the nympho and connected some dots as to why I was with her. After all this I didn't get a chance to talk with Mary for about 2/3 weeks, she didn't look happy.

Now, my question to everyone is this...did that really look that bad on my part? Was I a complete idiot for showing up there with my friend? At the time I didn't think anything of it, maybe I was naive and was inconsiderate of how it all looked from other peoples' point of view. I felt like an idiot that's for sure. Did she over react? What would you think of this?


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  • Well we seem to look at this differently but I don't think you did anything wrong. If she is sad to think that you were with another girl then that sucks for her but it isn't really your problem. She has no claim to you. Of course you don't want to rub it in but it cannot be helped sometimes. Also it sounds like there is a chance there could be something else wrong with her.

    • Well I initially didn't think I did anything wrong. I hate to think that maybe her ex cheated on her and this was just too soon for her...the first guy she has interest in after the breakup shows up with some chick that's known to get around. I don't know..too much room for speculation.

    • Yeah, well I think you can still get her if you want her. Maybe introduce her to the other chick or when you hang out with this girl explain that the nympho is a friend. Nothing is f***ed here dude, nothing is f***ed. She may have felt some pain over the situation but that is just part of life. Getting feelings for someone from afar sucks a lot since you end up with huge expectations of the person; I've done it. she should have pursued you more aggressively if she wanted you that bad.

    • Well, this chick is real young...she turned 21 in January I think. Tom told me early on that she can be "a handful, emotionally." So I guess I shouldn't be too surprised. This past week I actually got to say hi to her, she seemed to have gotten over it, kind of. Maybe she just found out the truth through her friend, I don't know.