How do I tell this particular guy (please read) that I want something more, either from him or I'm moving on??

i have been seeing this guy for almost a year now but we are not exclusive. He confuses the sh*t out of me. Sometimes we click so well but he seems to be the type of person who finds it hard to express his feelings, yet he is overly sensitive and I learned this after rejecting him when we first started off (im just a picky dater). I also noticed how he acted when I beat him in a bored game, he was upset but I thought it was cute.

when he doesn't tell me how he feels, for ex: if I do something nice for him, even in sex, or if I take him out to eat, I have no idea if he likes it, or if I am doing something wrong. He gives me no feedback.

He never tells me things like "oh I am busy, today is not a good day for us to have alone time", and I wish he would say it so that I won't have to wonder. He will just let me come over but not spend much time with me.

sometimes I can tell that he really feels something about me, I'm just not sure what it is. Like he will randomly just come cuddle with me, kiss my forehead and not say anything, no sex and it is sweet. Or he will just tell me about his week or how his family is doing. One time he went out of town for a couple months, comes back and he just seems overwhelmed to see me, tells me that he missed me, which was the first time I ever hear him express his feelings, we have sex and he seems all "emotional" lol

Last week I was over his place, well originally we were at my place and it was late and we were just sitting around not doing anything, so I put on my pajamas, and he just sits there like he wasn't ready to go home, he was comfortable at my place lol but I tell him that he has to go home lol and then I take him home. And when we get to his place he says "you should have just brought a change of clothes" and I tell him that I can't stay the night. And he says "you are staying the night!" and I tell him "im not gonna stay the night" and then he says "i said you are gonna stay the night" lol but he was implying that I have to do what he says because he is my man maybe? but in a playful manner.

But he is not my man, does he even like me enough to want to be in a relationship with me? I am very open to a relationship. I'm not spending time with him just because of whatever. I also go out with other guys, talk, no sex though, I'm still single so I can do that, and I date because I ultimately want a relationship. But because I like this guy and I respect him I just don't want to do anything to hurt his feelings, well if he has feelings that is.

I don't want to say it in a bitchy way, I just really want him to understand that I want to be with him or I just can't see him anymore. I don't want to be strung along waiting for him to tell me how he feels when I have been turning down other guys who also want to really get to know me.


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What Guys Said 1

  • My first impression from reading this is that in no part of this did I read anything that he does for you, although this may just be because you didn't think it was necessary.

    However, from the things you did say about his behavior, they seem to show that he is prone to being immature at times. Certainly it is only polite to express one's gratitude when somebody else has done something nice for them. He doesn't explain himself too much for you when it comes to the two of you which is very annoying since it cause you confusion.

    The thing that surprised me the most was the fact that you've been seeing each other for a year but not exclusive! That's a very long time to be waiting for you two to be official at the very least. I really don't mean to undermine what you two feel for each other, but it seems more a FWB than just casually dating. The other thing is that if he would've wanted to tell you how he feels about you two and your future, he would've done it already long time ago. It's not fair to you to be in this situation where you already are being strung along because you're in a constant state of not knowing.

    You should sit down and talk with him, let him know what's on your mind and what you're feeling. It's much overdo and something absolutely necessary to remove this stress in your life and allow you to finally be sure of things. You've known him for a long time so it shouldn't be hard at all for him to express himself, regardless of his personality!

    • thanks you actually helped me come to a realization. This has become very stupid. And even more stupid because his phone just broke and I know it broke and the whole story behind it. Even our mutual friends are finding it hard to contact him lol he really is in no position to be a good boyfriend to me but I hate that he has not admitted that or just talk to me about his feelings for me so I decided to message him on Facebook (I know its lame).

    • and I told him that I am so confused and am not sure if I should wait for him or just forget about him. and I honestly don't expect him to write me back right away, or really care if he does, but I feel so much better that I said what I needed to because I know he is going to see the message and know what has been on my mind. Even though I care about him, I am all ready to move on and just forget him and I don't really want to see him either, because this just feels like a really stupid situation

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