Can't attract a girl. What now?

Before I begin, to avoid any frustration on my part, please give me the benefit of the doubt when I tell you that the last few years of my life have been dedicated to (among other things) improving myself I.E. my looks, my CONFIDENCE, my attitude, my "game", my body language, my conversation skills. Basically EVERY area that I've needed improvement, and I've made REAL progress from where I was 3 years ago. Now, hopefully you will understand my situation a bit better and why this situation is so bothersome.

I cannot get a girlfriend. But worse, I can't even get a date. It would be one thing if I never talked to girls, but I do it all the time. Girls on GAG have told me when I like a girl, to give her attention, talk to her, smile at her, and show her you're interested. Well my efforts NEVER pay off. Basically, what it boils down to: putting in the necessary effort ("putting myself out there") doesn't work no matter how and how I often I do it, and it makes me think that IT'S ME, and there's some kind of curse on me. It also makes me angry that I have taken people's suggestions on how to attract a girl and it has the opposite effect FOR ME.

I never get approached by girls - even ones who know I exist and know me, I never get texts from girls - unless I can do something for them, and I never hang out with girls - because they're "too busy" to meet up for a little bit.



P.S. if you're going to say something like "you just have keep trying!", please have a DARN GOOD reason for it.



Most Helpful Guy

  • Are you approaching girls that's considered to be on the same level of attraction that you're on? I ask because on a number of occasions I've heard that people often choose mates that's on their same attraction level.

    However, the cause of your success may not be based on your appearance, it could based on the vibe that you're giving out, or the lack there of. Girls have different tastes in looks, but they generally go for a guy that make them feel good about being with him, so make sure you're sending out positive vibes. Are you humorous, genuine, flirtatious, and direct?

    I've seen guys that lack good looks with girlfriends, so I'm confident that it's not your appearance. You may need to have outside source observe, then correct any issues that your having.


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • Change your setting and approach different kinds of girls, you seem to be going after a type and that's not working for you.

    • I give most girls a chance. Older, younger, less attractive, etc. So the type I'm going for is not the problem. Unless these girls just can't notice a good thing when it hits them in the face.

What Guys Said 3

  • You might want to consider that the girls you're approaching aren't attracted to you or are "out of your league". It sounds harsh and I don't mean to offend but it would certainly explain why, after all of your effort and progress, you still can't seem to find a mate

  • Look up pick up advise on YouTube. I suggest Stephanderman or something like that. Also look at the successful guys and pick apart what they are doing. Some advise given on websites is just terrible and watching people who naturally pick up will help you separate the good from the bad. Try to look at it as fun. From what I can tell there are two important things that really determine success in a pickup. Demonstrating value; you have a bunch of stuff to offer her. Notably status, making her friends laugh and having her see you with friends to pretty much tell her you are not a loser; or social proofing.

    The second is just being fun. Being able to make them laugh. Get their emotions going. Also most pickups don't work so don't get too discouraged. Everyone gets rejected.

  • Are you 'putting yourself out there'?

    Or are you actually flirting in a sexual way and trying to close the deal?

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