Was it wrong to give my boyfriend an ultimatum?

Heres the deal. My boyfriend smokes pot everyday sometimes twice a day. It turns him into a lazy, carless pile with no sex drive. As a result to his smoking everyday we hardly have sex, he's always sleeping or playing video games (he tells me to come watch TV shows and play games with him whenever I complain that I don't get enough quality time with him) I'm ALWAY initiating the sex and I get turned down 75% of the time. We only have sex once a week sometimes we only have sex once every 2 weeks. We hardly go out either Because he says he doesn't feel like it. I told him that if he doesn't cut back on smoking that we're no longer gonna be a couple Because his smoking has effected our relationship in a negative way. Am I being unreasonable? I just want us to work out and its like he doesn't care.. He claims to care and he says he's trying to make it work but seriously I see no effort..

Id like to add that I don't care if he smokes. Its the habit of him doing it everyday that I'm not gonna put up with.


Most Helpful Guy

  • No,

    in this particular case your boyfriend is making stupid decisions as to which has the higher priority. Smoking in general is a bad habit, (no matter the substance), but unfortunately it sounds as though he has become dependent on it for whatever reason. As the other have stated before if he is actually make a serious effort to change( and by effort I don't mean for a couple of days and then it's back to square one) then try and hold on to him. But if it's only him making the effort for a couple of days to get you off his back, then ditch him. At that point loss maybe the only thing that can help him and if he still doesn't change after that, then he is not worthy of you. At that point you should find someone else. If he changes sometime down the road and you are single then maybe it might be worth considering getting back together.

    Take my advice with a grain of salt. Good luck, I hope this helps a little.


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What Guys Said 2

  • Normally I would say give the guy a break but in this case you are right

    I know a lot of guys who smoke pot and it affects their relationships also even tough they don't see it themselves at first.

    I talked to 2 of them about it and they became well aware of the fact it wasn't going well

    If he doesn't listen to you I suggest to let someone he knows pretty well to go and talk to him about it

  • pretty reasonable to me. his smoking is sh*tting on your relationship so I think as long as it looks like he's putting in real effort to quit, then you don't exactly have to drop his ass right away. but no improvement means he's got to go


What Girls Said 1

  • do you not smoke aswell? cause I could see where that would be a problem. non smokers and smokers are always gonna come down to that bottom line. I personally would be cool with a boyfriend that wants to sit around and get high all day. that's sounds badass. although the lack of sex sounds stupid and would piss me off too.